A Purrrfectly Awful Movie: Catwoman

Have you ever watched a movie and just thought to your self.. What in sam hill were they thinking about? You think to yourself.. How can so many minds equate to so much cine garbage? Who was the person that let this “Thing” get on screen? Well just recently I watched CATWOMAN and those questions were plastered all over my mind.

I tell you the cat should have gotten this screenwriter’s tongue. The story and dialog in this movie could have been written for a Saturday morning cartoon. How can you put a movie on screen with tired out dialog, unimaginative plot, and an ending that is simply bad? Well I guess someone did… the people making Catwoman.

Patience Philips is catwoman. She works as a graphic designer for Hedare Beauty, a cosmetics company on the verge of releasing a revolutionary anti-aging product. When Patience(Halle Berry) happens to stumble upon a dark secret her employer is hiding, she finds herself engulfed by a corporate conspiracy. She then experiences something that changes her forever. In a so called “mystical twist of fate”, she is turned into a woman with the strength, quickness, agility and senses of a cat.

With her newfound feline intuition, she becomes the masochistic dominatrix looking Catwoman, a person who is now conflicted between good and bad. Like any type of feline, she’s dangerous and untamed. (Although also seeming very ghetto for some reason) In all this she finds her self in a relationship with Tom Lone played by Benjamin Bratt,(who I wish we would have heard more dialog from, since its the only dialog I enjoyed in the whole movie) he is a detective who has fallen for her. Through the movie Catwoman, appears to be responsible for crime sprees in the city.

Halle Berry

I don’t particularly like Berry. This movie I tell ya did not help at all in that regard. She played her character in a way where we never really fell in love with her or hated her. Her performance fills you with apathy. By the end of the movie you are aware of what its about.. but you just dont care.

Not to knock her completely for I liked her in Bulworth and Monsters Ball but here I never really bought into the tame woman transformation into a devilish killer cat. She either overacted or was too mild when a little spunk was called for. If only you had do overs. I think even she would cast the Catwoman role differently.

Sharon Stone

I mildly liked her in this movie. While she had the right tenacity in her performance, she really had little to work with. Seeing as how the script left much wanting. Script wise she was as bad as a bad guy gets and not in a good way.

Tim Burton’s Batman

Remembering the Catwoman that was played by Michelle Pfeiffer from Batman Returns really makes Halle Berry’s Catwoman seem more like a kitten that a wildcat. If theres one thing that I would liked to have seen is a more psychological look at Catwoman. Rather than pure action with a bland story, we wanted to see well crafted action blended in with an indept look at the psyche of the Catwoman persona. Instead we get this boring movie about evil cosmetics.

This movie had a great amount of potential that was thrown out the window. Filled with uninspired words and pictures it makes you wonder what the whole point was. It had weak action, bland dialog, and no story. I’d rather watch Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventures… at least I know what I’m getting from the start. It’s the only bad movie that I like for being bad.