Advice for Parents: Raising Children Without Bulimia

They’ve said that curing oneself of Bulimia is about as hard as kicking a serious drug habit. So let’s set aside all our misguided notions that Bulimia is something the “cheerleaders are going to grow out of” once they get out of high school. This is more than image consciousness, and has nothing to do with depth of character. Given that so many Americans now suffer from eating disorders, the time has come to take measures against diseases like Bulimia before they manifest themselves completely in an individual. This is not a lifestyle that anyone wants to fall into. Taking preventive measures against developing bulimic habits is a much easier course than all the pain an individual will suffer if they do fall under its spell. This article is for parents, who are interested in shielding their children from unnecessary physical and emotional pain.

Bulimia had a lot to do with control. Many bulimics begin as Anorexics, and find that the starvation lifestyle becomes nearly impossible to maintain, or that Bulimia will give them the best of both worlds, by allowing them to eat, but not suffer the consequences of that eating. Bulimia is typically characterized by binge eating, where most sufferers claim to feel a sense of either euphoria or numbness, and then a purge episode, either by induced vomiting, laxative use, and/or excessive exercise. Bulimics tend to isolate themselves as their addiction gets worse, estranging themselves from friends and family to ensure the safety of their addiction. Their binge episodes become more serious, and begin to control all other areas of their life. They will lie to cover their steps, or become irritable if their lifestyle is questioned. They can experience electrolyte problems, esophagus and tooth damage from acid exposure, and heart problems. Another looming threat to bulimics is suicide, which is unfortunately not entirely uncommon for sufferers of this disorder. Eating disorders like Bulimia must not be taken lightly. If genetics are indeed a part of Bulimia, so much the more important is an upbringing that will counteract that predisposition.

Here are 6 steps a parent should take to help bring up a child that has a healthy relationship with food, and him/herself:
1. Take a look at your own habits. Do you have a “fat phobia” that you are overly verbal about? Does your husband or wife? Do you criticize each other openly about body appearance? Are you a closet eater, or glorify those that “eat like a bird?” Do you have an eating disorder? If so, please know that your kids will pick up on that, and it will affect them. Get yourself help immediately; it is the best thing you can do for your children. You are a parent now, and the time has come to put yourself first, so that you can have the means to put your children first. Until you rectify your own problems with yourself, take care to not voice them in front of your kids.

2. Practice Good Nutrition. Meals should be well rounded, and fruit and vegetable rich. Sugars should not be the bulk of the meal. The food should provide plenty of vitamins, and kids should understand what vitamins are, and why they’re important. Dessert is fine every once in awhile- food is delicious and should be enjoyed. But “treats” are silly. Food should not be used as a reward system. Cake is fine on your birthday, or fine just for fun once in awhile. But don’t treat yourself because you were good, and deny yourself because you were bad. The lines get too blurred.
3. Try to eat together. It’s almost impossible these days, but meals aren’t just about the intake of food: they are about catching up with each other. Eating together is a healthy way to enjoy food, and to make each other feel loved and supported. Make dinner a ritual and stick to it.

4. Do not eat in front of the TV. Meals should be treated as though they are sacred. Seinfield reruns can wait.

5. Watch the amount of stress you put upon them. School is important, but it is not the end of the world whether they get a 4.0. Nor does it matter in the long run whether they are the star of the soccer team. Remember for a moment that their happiness is your top priority. Sometimes they need to be reminded of that.
6. Be vigilant. No, you don’t have to root through their room- that is silly, and invasive. But you know when something is wrong. Do they head to the bathroom after every meal? Is the water running while they are in there? Are there traces of what could be vomit on the toilet, or in the water? Are they less enthusiastic than they used to be? More introverted? Do large quantities of food go missing? Do they seem to “sneak?” Do they get angry if you so much as mention it? Don’t be waylaid- no they don’t want to talk about it, because they are trying to cover it up. They are ashamed, and fast becoming addicted, and you are threatening that. But it is your job as a parent to threaten that. The sad fact is, most Bulimics do not recover on their own. If you are not going to help them, who is? They will likely need therapy, and you might need it, too.

Recovery is painful- you’ll hear things you don’t want to hear, and they’ll say things they don’t want to say. But the sooner you tackle it head on, the better their chances are at beating it. There are bulimics that suffer for decades- it is not what you want for your children.