Ambiguous Questions

For some lucky individuals, it was love at first sight. It may have been the lighting, the weather or planet alignment. However, a few months along into a relationship, things may start getting a little less rose-colored. Words start to be had. Flaws start to emerge. And here they thought they knew this person they love.

During a class about human relations, instructor/counselor Robert Clark of City College of San Francisco, discussed the importance of dialogue before marriage. Most of the students were shocked at some of the questions he proposed, i.e. “Would you get an abortion?” “Would you change your religion?” or “How do you prefer to fold your towels?”

Although you might think some of these questions are absurd, you might be better off in your relationship (budding or long-term) to start off with your own personal questionarre.

How well do you really know your partner?

What would happen if you were to decide to get married and then found out they were video game collecting freaks?

How would they feel when the spark died and the luster faded?

What would you both do to prevent that?

Do they like drinking with or without fancy straws?

Like it or not, these types of questions could come up later on in a relationship if you both continue to grow as a couple. As you get to know your partner’s qwerks and nuances, try to share a few of your own. Offer an open and non-judgemental dialogue. Leave the ambiguity of “What if?” behind you. Striving to understand your partner is much more rewarding than living in the shawdow of ignorance.