American Desi Underground Sex Parties

The air is musty from the heavy smoke. In the background are the slurred voices of drunken singles and hip hop music with racy lyrics. The atmosphere is a cross between a colorful Indian wedding and that of a corner bar selling cheap drinks to locals on a Friday night who are simply searching for one night of “no strings attached” sex. Wait until you hear the punch line. Who do you think is flipping the bill for all this entertainment? Read on, it gets worse.

This place is secretly known as the “American Desi Underground” and it happens only a couple of times a year in the US. The location is always changing but it is always held in an elite 5 star hotel with vast accommodations. The gathering is not open to the public. The only attendees that are allowed are single Desi’s living in America. Don’t get any ideas if you are betting to sneak in. The only way you are getting in is if you fit the following profile:

Age: who cares
Status: unmarried, single, divorced, or widowed
Caste: doesn’t matter
Income: yeah that doesn’t matter either
FOB (Fresh Off the Boat) – YES
American Desi – YES
ABCD (American Born Confused Desi) – YES

The group that set this party in motion will check your credentials (family background and your biodata) and they will call to cancel your attendance if they suspect any funny business.

Sure this is perhaps one of the most expensive parties you will go to in your life ($500.00 – $1500.00 US/night) but is it worth dishing out hard-earned money for a night of risky business? Most say, “yes” and these folks attend all the parties and come prepared with birth control. Newcomers are pleasantly surprised when they arrive and have mixed emotions claiming it as a “meat market” or “college mixer.” In either case, even the newcomers are pushed into returning year after year until they finally decide to marry. Yes, it is a Desi convention and attendees go to search for potential brides and grooms. Call it a step above arranged marriage since the parents are not the ones doing the picking.

What else goes on? Unfortunately, it’s the same as everywhere else, sex, drugs and rock & roll. Now, who flips the bill? Desi parents do and they do it unknowingly. How could they know? These parents do not fit the profile therefore they cannot attend. They innocently pay for their child to find a nice wife or husband with decent qualifications and very few come back with a soul mate. Most go to have a good time and claim to their parents that “there were no good looking girls (or boys) there.” It’s a pretty sad comment when the rumors that fly are all about orgies in room X and Y. Despite all of that, the American Desi cardinal rule remains: “what they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

Today’s Indian generation living in America has picked up bad habits of the western culture. Parents of these children throw their hands up in the air and regret moving from their homeland which they feel would have taught their children right from wrong. Also surprising to American Desi’s is that these undergrounds also exist in India the very same way they exist all over the world. Yeah, so if you are thinking on finding “a nice Indian girl (or boy)” from India, think again.

So, the take away from this is that if you think you are getting a blushing bride or a good boy groom, chances are slim. The sad truth is that most have been there and done that and if they haven’t, it’s never too late for those who fit the profile.