Ann Coulter as the Anti-Christ
Now, it should be evident that I really don’t like Ann Coulter. Part of it is that she has a voice that reminds me of chalk squeeking on a chalkboard – every time I hear her voice, shivers go up my spine.
The main reason that I don’t like her is because she is so symbolic of what is wrong with political discourse today. Coulter has a law degree, though it has been little used in the last decade, save for a stint as an unpaid legal advisor to Paula Jones, where reputedly her primary legal action was to leak the description of the “distinguishing characteristics” of President Clinton’s penis. In her study of the law, Ms. Coulter obviously became aware of the famous law school adage: “If the facts are with you, you pound the facts; if the law is with you, you pound the law; and if neither the facts nor the law are with you, you pound the table.” Ms. Coulter has broken a lot of tables. She does not know how to argue, and generally resorts to ad hominem attacks.
On Tuesday morning, Coulter was interviewed on the “Today Show” about “Godless”. Host Matt Lauer asked Coulter about a number of claims including two that stand out. First, liberals “celebrate” abortions. Second, about the widows of 9/11 victims – who dared criticize the Bush administration – she has never seen women “enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much.”
I won’t even waste my time trying to refute her outrageous comments – that’s self-evident. But there’s another claim in the first chapter of her book that I will spend time on.
Coulter proclaims:
“Colleges pick up where the public schools leave off, inculcating students in the religion of hating America and hating God. While college professors like the University of Colorado’s Ward Churchill act like on-the-edge radicals for calling American bond traders “little Eichmanns,” professors are the most cosseted, pussified, subsidized group of people in the U.S. workforce. They have concocted a system to preemptively protect themselves for not doing their jobs, known as “tenure.” They make a lot of money, have health plans that would make New York City municipal workers’ jaws drop, and work-at most-fifteen hours a week.
In theory, the only job requirement of a college professor is to be intelligent, provocative, and open-minded, but their reigning attribute is that they are ignorant, boring, and narrow-minded. These zealous pagans teach the official state religion of liberalism as axiomatic truth.”
What planet does Coulter live on? Professors make a lot of money? We have premium health plans? And, we work “at most” 15 hours a week? Where can I sign up?
Here are five reasons that ignorance of a topic does not prevent Coulter from making outrageous claims.
1) Most academic disciplines require a doctoral degree. That represents from 5 to 10 years of additional academic training beyond a bachelor’s degree. For those lucky enough to secure an academic position, it’s another 5-7 years before receiving tenure. And, tenure is based on achieving excellence in teaching, research and service – it’s not automatically granted.
2) Most college professors teach four 3-credit courses each semester. That’s 12 hours in the classroom alone. Add in an equal amount of class preparation time, correcting student assignments, normal advising duties, heavier advising duties during registration times, faculty and committee meetings, and we are into the 50-60 hours per week, not 15. There are institutions in which the teaching loads are lighter. But faculty at those schools mentor graduate students by supervising their teaching and research. In addition, they closely evaluate theses and dissertations, which means they are closely editing a number of book-length manuscripts.
3) At this point you could say “But you get summers off.” Not really. Most of us during the summers are working on the research that is required to get us tenure, and later, promotion. In addition, the summer is a time to make extra money teaching summer school (which most of us need, given that transit workers in New York make similar salaries to us). And, usually, we teach and do research.
4) Unlike what Ann Coulter is used to in her writing, when we do research, we make assertions in our write-ups that we actually have to back up with evidence. We can’t make outrageous assertions without any proof. And, experts in our field will review whether or not we have done a proper job of that.
5) Finally, most college professors do what they do out of a sense of helping others, similar to elementary and secondary school teachers, social workers and counselors. They possess a strong sense of looking out for others, rather than just looking out for themselves.
Coulter asserts college professors teach liberalism. I disagree. On the whole, there are probably more liberals than conservatives in universities, though most are moderates. But, the reason for more liberals than conservatives may be because *liberals are smarter than conservatives.*
Outrageous assertion? No more than Coulter’s numerous claims in Godless.
It is a stark reminder of the times we live in that loony rhetorical bomb throwers such as Coulter are paid attention to at all in the media, let alone given any type of credibility. As for Coulter herself, either she’s cynical enough to know that the more outrageous she is, the more buzz for her book she creates, or she’s really thinks this way. If the latter, we should be afraid – we should be very afraid.
