Are You on Steroids Right Now?

When the media say “steroids,” they almost always mean “androgenic-anabolic steroids,” a collection of more than 100 synthetic drugs used by people hoping to boost muscle mass. Yet the generic term “steroids” actually covers a much larger group of substances – some of which you’re “on” right now.

Read My Lipids

Along with lots of water, you’re mostly made of four kinds of organic macromolecules: proteins, carbohydrates, nucleic acid, and lipids. Proteins are long chains of amino acids that combine to do lots of jobs for the body. Carbohydrates are chains of sugar molecules strung together to store energy. Nucleic acid is the key ingredient in DNA. And lipids include a variety of naturally occurring steroids.

Never heard of lipids? You may know them by their other names: oils, fats, and waxes. Some lipids store energy. Others help your body keep moisture in or out. Still others, the steroid hormones, carry chemical signals that help you regulate bodily functions.

Name Your Steroids

Your body produces steroid hormones in two major places: in your adrenal glands – located on top your kidneys – and in your reproductive organs – testes if you’re male, ovaries if you’re female. These steroid hormones do important work, but you may only know them by their aliases.

Estradiol, a.k.a. estrogen, is a steroid that helps regulate the female menstrual and ovarian cycles. Cortisol, a.k.a. hydrocortisone, helps regulate inflammation and blood sugar levels. Cholecalciferol, a.k.a. vitamin D, helps regulate your calcium levels. There are others, too. And each derives from a “master” steroid you’ve surely heard of: cholesterol.

Among the steroids we haven’t mentioned is testosterone, a reproductive hormone that stimulates masculine traits. Testosterone is the natural steroid that androgenic-anabolic steroids (the ones that get all the bad press) try to imitate.

Artificial Adolescence

Both males and females produce testosterone. In females, testosterone levels remain relatively low throughout life – and often decrease, along with estrogen and progesterone levels, after menopause. In males, testosterone levels take off at adolescence, triggering the various changes that accompany puberty – including increased muscle mass.

It’s this adolescent effect that users of androgenic-anabolic steroids want. They take regular doses of testosterone-aping synthetic steroids to trick their bodies into producing muscle tissue as if they were adolescents again. How much more they get depends on dosage, participation in other muscle-building activities (such as weightlifting), and genetics.

Yet users of androgenic-anabolic steroids also get some less-than-sexy side effects. Kidney damage, liver damage, and psychological problems are all common. Women often become more masculine. Men, strangely enough, often get the opposite. When artificial steroids trick a body into thinking it has lots of testosterone, it can stop making its own. Men then become more feminine, with shrunken testicles, fewer sperm, and bigger breasts. So much for feeling manly.

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