Asking for a Date Doesn’t Have to Be that Hard

Remember the good old days in school. You like a boy or a girl, you tell your friends. They tell the friend of the girl or the boy. Then that friend relays the message. There is no one on one talking involved. Of course, there was the other tried and true method the note pass. You ask the girl or boy do you want to be my girlfriend/boyfriend circle yes or no. It was so easy back then.

Not so easy now in the grown up world of dating.

We watch the television shows and the movies. They make dating look so easy. They meet people everywhere. They meet in the mall, at the grocery store and even at the Laundromat. They also always know how to ask the other person out on a date. They are smooth. They are charming. Most of all, they are always answered with a yes.

But how do you ask a person out on a date in real life? A lot of it has to do with how you know the person.

For instance, if you know the person from work, you probably should make the date invitation sound a bit casual. The person could say no and you will be seeing this person on a daily basis. You don’t want things to be awkward. Should you just avoid dating people at the work place? Some people will say yes. But stop and think for a moment. Where do you spend most of your time? You are at your work place usually eight hours a day, forty hours a week. That is a big chunk of your life. You will be saying no to a lot of potential dates. One of those dates could be the ‘one’. Of course, you do want to use your head when choosing who to ask out, at the work place. It is not a good idea to date a boss, a family member of the boss (no matter how many movies are out there about dating the boss’s daughter) or someone you work side by side every day (a partner of sorts).

Now how do you ask? Most people like it when you just speak freely, no hinting. Be brave, say the words. “Would you like to have dinner with me? Would you like to see a movie sometime?” Is the fair or some other event coming to your town? “Would you like to go to the fair, car races, whatever the event with me?” Then nervously wait for the answer.

Yes, it is direct. The direct approach works.

What if you don’t know the person? Will people go out with strangers? Yes, sometimes they will. Of course, it can depend on the circumstances. Sometimes the stranger is a friend of a friend, or a neighbor you see everyday. If the stranger is someone you just pass by on the street, you may get turned down flat. Do you take the chance? It depends on you. Does the person look like he/she can be the one? If so, you may want to take the chance. They do take the chance in the movies.

Change your asking approach. “I know you don’t know me. I don’t usually do this. But there is something about you that intrigues me. My name is ___. Would you go and get some coffee with me a ____ diner, restaurant etc (pick a place close.)

Yes, you could be told no or some other impolite comment or you could be surprised and the person could say yes.

The main thing when asking a person out on a date is to make eye contact, do not try to be someone you aren’t, don’t lie, don’t brag about your car, house, job, etc. and keep the first date offer a simple one.