BDSM for Beginners – Bondage Basics
As with any BDSM activity, safety is paramount! For both enjoyment and protection from harm, think safety! Never do a bondage scene with someone you do not know well and trust completely! Never allow a first-time play partner to tie you up. Always let someone you trust know where, when and with whom you are going to scene. My fast and firm rule is to never play in private the first few (or more) times with a new partner. BDSM clubs and parties often have Dungeon Monitors present, for your safety, and even if they do not have Dungeon Monitors, having other people around who will help you in the event you need assistance, is a great idea. Before any scene, spend some non-scene time negotiating boundaries and safety. In addition, NEVER leave a bound or gagged submissive alone! More great ideas for scene safety can be found at http://sexuality.org.
A few of my favorite bondage apparatus and equipment:
St. Andrew’s crosses, bondage frames, and racks –
The St. Andrew’s cross is also called an X-cross, and is a great support for long-term or lengthy bondage scenes, because it gives support to all the limbs as well as the center core of the submissive’s body, and so allows for comfort and relaxation.
A bondage frame is a tall rectangle, often made of steel or iron and secured to a base for stability, but doesn’t give any support to the submissive’s body, and can be less enticing for long periods of play.
Racks, made from wood or metal are usually an A-frame design. Racks can be great for play-torture scenes, (like Torquemada, the Grand Inquisitor and the Spanish maiden), but can also be terrific for general bondage and flogging scenes. The many struts of the rack give you a ton of great tie points!
Then, we have choices of restraint materials:
Metal, Wooden, Silk, Rope, (and just about anything you can think of to tie or wrap around a willing body)
Metal handcuffs can be lined in fake fur or comfortable velour for soft restraint. The delicate bones and ligaments in joints are easily damaged, so be careful never to allow weight or tight stricture when playing bondage games! Handcuffs don’t have to be standard police issue cuffs, heck no! Cuffs come in fur, leather and we have a pair of awesome cuffs, called SportCuffs, lined in neoprene and with quick release Velcro closures. These are particularly comfortable cuffs, and the thick neoprene padding wraps the submissive’s joints in a protective layer. In our toybags, we also have a set of wrist and ankle restraints with suction cups. These Suction Cuffs are amazingly strong and work well in shower scenes, hot tubs and more, but be careful! Bondage and water can cause more danger than you want.
Wooden restraints include a variety of equipment. Spreader bars, stocks and pillories (think Puritan days), and bondage boards come to mind, right off. We have a bondage board, about six feet long and 2 feet wide, with eyebolts all along the outer edges, to provide tie points. Our bondage board lays flat on a bed or table. There are several bondage equipment makers who even design multi-use equipment. These can be broken down into different configurations, for different scenes, and, after your scene is over, can be hidden under a bed or in a closet. http://dungeonfurniture.com, http://www.toys4lust.com, and http://www.extremerestraints.com, are just a few of our favorites.
Silk, from strips of sheets and fabric to silk stockings and old ties, are erotic when used as bondage materials, but beware; knots in silk can be extremely difficult to remove quickly, especially if moist! Always keep a pair of paramedic scissors (http://kinkymedical.net) nearby when doing any bondage scene, but particularly when using silk! Don’t bother with the cheap dull scissors; get a good pair from Kinky Medical. Quality paramedic scissors are angled to avoid cutting skin or pinching, and are very sharp!
Ropes come in so many sizes and colors, choosing your favorite might be hard. Experiment with different textures and weights of ropes. We found great cotton-core, nylon covered rope in 50 ft. packages at Home Depot for under $10. Cut the rope into usable lengths, for example, we have several 20 ft lengths, several 12 and 10 ft lengths, and one each of uncut 50 ft length and a 40 ft length. The longer lengths make great body harnesses and dresses!
With safety and planning, bondage scenes can be so intensely erotic and pleasurable, for both parties. The sensuality of bondage scene, done well, exudes an essence of romance and passion. Watching a well-done bondage scene is a pleasure in itself, and having a partner who excels at the techniques and passion of bondage – well, let us just say – WOW!
