Be That Chode That Picks Up Chicks
First let’s take a look at a few guys who get women:
1. Rich guys
2. Athletes
3. Good looking guys or guys with large penises
4. Musicians
5. Movie stars
6. Priests
What do all of these guys have in common?
Diversions.
In case you’re wondering, the #3’s just stare at themselves in the mirror all day, that’s diversion enough.
All the guys on the list don’t need women to make them feel self-worth because they are happy with themselves. They have drive. Drive leads to confidence, which leads to getting laid. You fellas with no confidence, you don’t stand much of a chance with confident, attractive women. Find something to do with your time that does not involve picking up chicks.
So if you want to date attractive, confident women, wouldn’t it stand to reason that you need to be an attractive, confident man? Well, yes. But you say, “I’m fat and I’m not very good looking. No chick will like me.”
Well that’s not entirely true. If you make a few changes, you’ll realize that attractiveness does not come solely from genetics. Most people who exercise regularly, eat right, and live a low-stress lifestyle are attractive.
Just change your life. Make the decision to change, that’s all it takes. If you are overweight, you could be thinner with ease, but you have to change your thought patterns.
Start by asking, “Why am I overweight?” Probably because food gives you pleasure in the immediate, and when you reach for food, you reach for comfort. I know it; I have been struggling with an ice cream, granola, and trail mix addiction for the past five years. But I’ve broken myself of it, by and large. Later we’ll get into a simple method for building confidence and weaning yourself off of the bad habits when it comes to food.
Here are the principles of getting laid, in a nutshell. Treat this as a quick reference guide; maybe keep this in your wallet, with you at all times, at least for the next month or so, and refer to it. Eventually, you won’t need it any more because this stuff will be ingrained in your muscle memory.
1. The golden rule, laid down by one Jesus Christ says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” So by that rationale, if you want to date a woman with a good sense of humor, a nice body, and a willingness to work at a soup kitchen once a week, what do you think is the least you should give her? You damn well better be sloshing chicken noodle Tuesday nights, keeping your body in shape, and practicing your stand up comedy, otherwise you’re not giving her what she deserves!
2. Don’t have CRUSHES. It is a sure recipe for failure. Just take a deep breath and say, “She’s just a person, just like me. She used to be a little girl in pigtails and now she’s all grown up, but she remains a little girl at heart.” You’ll immediately smile when you look at her and think this.
3. Read ladies’ magazines for research. You’ll understand their point of view more.
4. Remember that you are a prize to be won. My good friend and classic babe hound John Rudisel told me, “You have to make it seem like this chick should be honored that you’re even considering letting her get with you.”
5. Don’t think sappy things like, “Oh she’s so beautiful” or “I’d be lucky to have her”. There’s no reason to be in awe of a beautiful girl, she’s just a person with feelings, just like you. You’re equals.
6. Don’t be dramatic or awkward; just pretend she’s one of your old grade school chums. You’re just two people trying to make the best of a strange world.
7. Most guys (and girls) are unrealistic, due to what I call “romantic comedy” syndrome. Your relationships with women are not a romantic comedy plot. Let me repeat that. You are not Hugh Grant in Notting Hill. There’s no reason to freak out. There’s always gonna be another one if this one isn’t in the cards.
8. Don’t talk too much. Listen and ask funny questions.
9. Carpe diem. Don’t NOT approach a girl when you feel the moment is right. You have to have faith and trust it. Go over there.
10. Find a good couple, a married couple, and watch how they interact. This is good research.
11. Masturbate regularly. Keep yourself sexually satisfied and you’ll feel more confident.
12. Do not act creepy by pretending you’re a nice guy who doesn’t want sex. That’s such an amateur move and women can smell that a mile away. Just be honest about your attraction to her and don’t be ashamed that you’d like to sleep with her. Make her feel beautiful by showing your appreciation for her beauty.
13. When picking up women in public places: Lose the mustache, and don’t have a staring problem. Just say hi and introduce yourself; save the lines for a couple laughs on the seventh date.
14. When you get the phone number: do not call a girl more than once a day or every day if you can help it. Keep her hoping you’ll call. Once you start a regular calling pattern, she’ll expect it, so don’t call too often just because you’re excited, play it cool, if things are going to work out for a lifetime, they will whether you call right now or not. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.
15. If you do get a woman to be intimate with you, don’t talk about the sex with your buddies, it’ll just make you feel weird when she’s around them.
16. Marry for money if you have to, but make sure you two enjoy talking to each other about a variety of subjects.
These rules are made to be broken because every situation is different. Maybe you’ll meet ladies that love creepy guys with mustaches and staring problems.
And remember, some days, no matter how closely you follow these rules, a girl may STILL reject you because earlier in the day she accidentally killed her pet fish and she feels horribly guilty. Just keep trying!
BREAKING BAD HABITS
If you are overeating, use this simple mantra whenever you are about to overeat (from good old Tony Robbins): Put away the food in question and say “Nothing tastes as good as fit, healthy, and vital feels.” With a bit of imagination, you can apply this to all sorts of bad habits.
INSTALLING GOOD HABITS
Take time each morning to exercise or meditate or both. Imagine your day going how you want it to go, and find ways to be grateful for your life as it is right now. You have to do this everyday if you want to change your attitude and become more confident.
Furthermore, people that want to get good at guitar practice guitar. Guys who want to get good at getting womenâÂ?¦practice getting women. A great basketball player, we’ll call him Mike J., did not just pick up a basketball and walk over to the NBA tryouts and get a contract. He had been practicing at a high level for years. Have you been practicing every day at a high level for years at something? Why not apply that diligence to something meaningful like a relationship with a woman instead of playing Zelda and eating Cheetos?
So, when you see a pretty girl, anywhere, just say hello and act friendly, not creepy. Pretend she is someone’s grandma, and see how differently the conversation goes from your usual feeble pickup routine. It won’t be forced, you’ll actually sound like a nice guy and a gentleman.
Happy humping!
