Bonding with Grandparents Before It’s Too Late
Sure, many of us have had great memories growing up with our grandparents and/or parents if we were lucky enough to have them around, but how much do we know about them, really. There is more than likely, with grandparents especially, a huge portion of their lives and personalities that for no real reason, we never really learned about. And often times we get so busy with our own schedules that we don’t find the time to really sit down and hear about things like their childhood, their true passions and historical memories, aside form the few hours you spend with them on the holidays and even then we might become so busy preparing dinner or chatting with all the guests equally that we really only get to hear brief snippets of their life stories.
There are exceptions of course, but it is likely that most of us in society today, through no fault of our own, have so much more to learn about the senior member of our family than we might ever realize and at the same time, our relatives who might seem shy usually would probably be delighted to talk about themselves and their past. I don’t know if I could honestly say it was imperative to make extra effort to learn more about your senior relatives before they pass or get too senile to remember but it is certainly fascinating, eye opening, more than likely humbling and most importantly, it makes the elder feel good and strengthens a magnificent familial bond between whoever is involved. But you must not let your own life and business prevent you from creating this great bond. Try to make time to either talk on the phone or meet in person your living grandparents and./or parents and make an extra effort to talk about yourself and your family less and spend some time asking them questions. It might seem awkward at first to initiate such a conversation especially if you don’t usually talk about these things, but you can break the ice by alluding to something in the present that “makes you think of” or “wonder about” what it was like (that situation) for them, or you can discuss a memory you had from your youth where they were involved and use that as a catalyst to initiate a deeper conversation more focused on them.
Something that my family has recently instigated with both my mothers’ father (grandpa) and my father’s mother (grandmamma) is that we found a book that asks tons of question for the owner to fill out. It asks questions as diverse as where were you when so and so (famous person) died down to what was your first car like and you was the first person you ever took on a date? It’s very fascinating to learn such things we never knew and you wouldn’t believe the smile on both of my grandparent’s faces when they talk about these memories. So try finding one of these books, if that’s easier for you, and ask them to fill it out in their spare time.
It is very likely they will procrastinate, for there are so many questions, but urge them on, telling them how much you are interest in their past. Or, such as in the case of my grandpa who (adorably) hesitated filling out his book because his handwriting was bad, sit down with the senior and ask the questions aloud and write the answer down for them. This book works great but you can also make your own cheap version of it by just simply making a list of questions you can thin of. Either way it is really great to hear about your roots and even better to see the joy in your loved ones eyes as they rehash those memories. So try to dedicate time to this cause. Whether you think it’s important or not, chances are when they are gone, you will wish you did it.
