Borderline Personality Disorder:Marriage
Dealing with the emotional ups and downs of a mate with BPD is tiring, and is often termed as a sort of Jekyll and Hyde type behavior. One minute the two of you equally share your adorations for the other in which your mate is totally into you. Suddenly, without warning or provocation you become like prey fighting off an angry animal wanting to devour your very soul. The same person that had recently confessed you to be the best thing in his/her world now seems to feel you are lower than scum.
Ones suffering with BPD exhibits extreme and intense mood swings, along with horrific rages. These dumfounding rages can leave a mate or family member in a state of shock and confusion because they some out of nowhere. As a mate of a BPD spouse, you must learn to live in the moment, because you never know what the next will bring. My undiagnosed BPD spouse and I go through extended periods when our marriage is in a euphoric state. The attention and love that is showered upon me during these periods is all any woman could ask for. Communication and interaction is present, togetherness along with give and take on both sides is shown. The funny thing about this is, it does not matter how often you travel down this euphoric road, hopes of this behavior continuing will lurk deep within the back of your mind. Each time a drastic mood swing rears it’s ugly head I am totally caught off guard, even now. When he is in mood swing mode, nothing I do or say is ever right. My every word is scrutinized carefully just to ensure proper English and meaning is conveyed, otherwise it will be corrected accompanied by a condescending chuckle. The very intelligence of the most brilliant of spouses will disappear in the eyes of a mate that has a BPD. DO NOT BELIEVE IT.
You as the spouse must be strong enough to separate the illness from the person, if you plan to stay in the relationship work on your own self-worth. Ultimately, you must be completely clear about who you are, what you stand for and how much you are prepared to handle. The illness will not just disappear one day; you must be clear on this fact, even though it can be managed, it is still up to the individual to want to seek help. Until that time comes, you will have to be the stronger of the two by having total confidence in yourself and education to help you cope. Remember knowledge is power.
