Bouncing Back After Divorce
Bouncing back after divorce is hard. It takes motivation, and determination. You have to want it. Want to get up and out of the house. Want to get out of the bed in the mornings. So what no one will see your brushed hair, brush it anyways, for yourself. Time to get up and stop dreaming, instead make your dreams happen. Only you can make things happen for you. Sure you can dream, you can even pray. But even God is not going to help someone, who is not helping themselves. It is time to do something for yourself. Time to call your mother back who is so desperately worried about you. Time to call your friend back who wants to do lunch and catch an afternoon matinee.
Everyone needs some time to pity themselves, after going through a divorce. But a pity party should not affect your daily life. Perhaps, you need some counseling to get you through this ordeal. Someone to talk to, who will not judge you, but give you an honest opinion. Flipping through the yellow pages of your local telephone directory, will provide you with many counselors in your area. Call one and make an appointment. After all it couldn’t hurt. Just getting out of the house, and going to your sessions will make you feel better about yourself. You might even feel like calling your friend back and going out to lunch.
Do you have kids? If you are going through a divorce and you have children, you should make them your first priority. If your kids are older, they are probably thinking this is their fault. That there was something they could have done to prevent their parents from splitting up. You need to comfort and console your children before yourself. Make sure that they understand your divorce is not their fault and did not have anything to do with them. Take this time to talk to your children and spend time with them. Show them you are still part of their family. Tell them you love them and this will not affect your relationship with them. Most of all be there for them and listen to them. They will need someone to talk to and listen as well.
Do you belong to a church? Church would be an excellent way, to focus your attention on something other than feeling sorry for yourself. Perhaps you would enjoy being involved with a church group. Most church’s have separate groups for men and women. Bible study might be something to help you get back on track. Some church’s also have prayer groups, and Sunday school classes for adults too. You could also volunteer at your church. Maybe something in the church needs fixing, or they need a fill in choir member. They may even be looking for a volunteer to play the organ. Volunteering makes you feel great. Even if it is not for a church you may want to give it a try.
Does your area have a group for divorced singles? This would be an excellent way to get your mind off of how you feel. A divorced singles group is an excellent resource for curing loneliness and pity. No one knows how you feel more than someone who has been through divorce themselves. Often they will run ads in the classified section of the newspaper for groups like this. Give them a call and see when they meet. You just might have some fun.
At this point you might be thinking there is no way you will ever date again. Sure your one liners might be a little rusty, and you can’t possibly think of having to give someone a goodnight kiss. Eventually you will long for companionship. Take it slow, and don’t push yourself for anything you may not be ready for. Maybe a night out with the guys/girls is about as far as you want to take things right now. That is just fine, go out and have fun. Interact with people, laugh, talk and smile. You will be glad you did. When you are ready to date again, you will know it. Until then just try to have some fun on a regular basis. Whatever you do, remember, you can bounce back after divorce.
