Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s Baby Chronicles Part III: Shiloh URL’s Snatched Up by Mommy
On the day Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt was born something was happening thousands of miles away from the small African nation of Namibia; it was happening in Los Angeles and it involved Angelina Jolie’s lawyer Evan Spiegel (great lawyer name by the way).
Spiegel was busy purchasing the rights for a plethora of Shiloh related URL addresses. Website titles like ShilohNouvelJolie-Pitt.com and ShilohNouvelJoliePitt.com (notice the hyphen). The Jolie legal team snatched up as many variations on the baby’s name as they could think of. They didn’t take into consideration MySpace.com; and before they could say Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt ten times fast, there was a MySpace page for the little, famous bambino.
Here is part of Shiloh’s MySpace page:
“About me:
I am a God send. I have been said to be better than that Suri Holmes-Cruise chick. People look up to me. I am kind’ve like a New Messiah. Shiloh=Means “he who is to be sent” in Hebrew. This phrase from the Old Testament (see Genesis 49:10) is often understood to refer to the Messiah Jolie-Pitt= Beautiful-Sexy What more could you love from a baby.”
Whatever jokester created this page could have done a much better job (in my opinion); but I guess you can’t expect every hack with a computer to be super funny.
This whole scenario brings up a bigger issue; what the hell is wrong with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? As soon as they decided to have sexual relations for the purpose of procreation and not just for pleasure, they should have fucking realized that the being they were creating was going to be subjected to more unnecessary media attention and the internet goofball ribbing than any other celebrity baby in the entire history of celebrity baby making.
So what if Pitt and Jolie and Spiegel bought every single URL in the world; do they think that America’s going to stop caring abut their mega baby? No way.
Look, I realize that Shiloh is in for quite the life and I also realize that she won’t deserve any of the pain that the media and internet types may inflict on her; but the only ones to blame for any of this are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
They might have bought up most of the URL’s, but people are creative; they’ll think of other names that haven’t been purchased yet. Who knows, maybe Jolie is going to sell these sites (for a fucking fortune) as soon as baby pictures are inevitably leaked. That wouldn’t surprise me at all; she could donate the proceeds to charity.
