Bush’s No Child Left Behind Act Inspires Comedic Efforts
the No Child Left Behind Act and its one-size-fits-all formulaic approach has made the legislation a formidable public target for ridicule.
Early on, those not involved in the inception of the No Child Left Behind Act referred to it as No Child Left Untested, No Teacher Left Standing, and No School Budget Money Left. Soon after, other phrases came forward such as No Child Learning Better, No Child Left Un-maligned, and No Child’s Privacy Protected.
Political cartoons emerged from the very outset as well. A web site entitled NoChildLeft.com was created with its entire focus on the federal mandate. The site features countless cartoons and commentaries.
One drawing on the site depicts four people on their knees, each of them with their head buried in the sand. The caption represents the thoughts of one of those individuals as they are being exposed to feedback regarding the mandate:
“The best protection against bad news is to stop reading the papers.”
A second sketch on the site shows a female teacher about to be flogged by a man with NCLB emblazoned on his shirt. Several children are kneeling around the teacher, each observing the actions taking place.
Three men are also observing the public flogging. One of them is stating aloud, “Public disgrace, punishment, humiliation and torture are scientifically proven to improve motivation, reading skills and test scores.”
On the Democratic National Committee web site, a cartoon created by Mike Keefe captures the many shortcomings of NCLB. Two teachers are holding hula hoops, one in each hand. Written on the blackboard is “No Child Left Behind Mandate”.
The first teacher is speaking to the students as they leap and vault through the hula hoops. She informs the children, “Look class, I’m not crazy about this either.” The second teacher then drives home yet another concern about the mandate. “But what really frosts me,” she says, “is that we have to pay for the hoops.”
The NCLB federal mandate has also inspired numerous parodies as well. Two in particular have made it across the country by virtue of the Internet. The first, No Cow Left Behind, is a tongue in cheek piece written by Kenneth Remsen of Vermont. In his parody, the mandate specifies that all cows on all farms will be required to be tested for their milk production.
To ensure the highest production possible, the mandate insists upon a highly qualified farmer in each barn. Poorly performing farms will necessitate barn choice for cows. A strong performing farm will be required to accept all
transferred cows, regardless of whether they have previously been well fed or properly cared for.
When specifying what credentials the evaluator has for setting forth the mandate and the ramifications for the expectations, he stipulates, “I grew up next to a farm and I drink milk.”
A second parody featured on the Texas Teachers’ Association web site, that of the No Dentist Left Behind, actually encapsulates the weaknesses of NCLB in a manner readily understood by everyone. The premise used to assess the performance of dentists is to record the number of cavities their patients have at specific ages.
The dentist responds incredulously. He insists that judging a dentist’s performance in such a manner fails to acknowledge the actual work of the dentist and that using cavities as an evaluation tool is utilizing many factors that are all beyond a dentist’s control. In response to the concerns he voices, the evaluator admonishes the dentist, expressing disappointment with his attitude and then informs him that he should stop making excuses.
In addition to this parody, there is one other cartoon that appears to lampoon the mandate in the most sophisticated manner possible. The cartoon’s author is Clay Bennett and his sketch demonstrates skillful satire.
The cartoon depicts only the very front of a classroom, a teacher at the blackboard with chalk in hand. On the board she has written that famous phrase, No Child Left Behind. Three students are also pictured, two with their books open, all with their attention focused upon the teacher.
“Today,” she says, “you’re going to learn the meaning of ‘iron
