Celebrating Samhain with Your Children
It is believed that the veil separating this world from the other worlds is thinnest at Samhain, allowing our ancestors to return to visit and guide us. Pagans have a different view of death than most people. The spirits of our ancestors are not to be feared, as they have given us life and love us as we love them. They are our fathers, grandmothers, great uncles, and great-great grandfathers. To pagans, death is a natural part of life, and a gift from the God and Goddess. Without death, there would be no room for new life.
Not all pagans agree on what happens after death. Most believe in some sort of afterlife, sometimes calling the place where spirits go after death Summerland, Tir n’a Nog, or Avalon. However people picture this place, it is generally believed to be peaceful and restful, a place where we wait and ready ourselves to be reborn again. Because after death comes rebirth and renewal, Samhain is also frequently considered to be the pagan New Year.
A Samhain altar requires some consideration. Aside from the usual symbols of the seasons, like pumpkins, gourds, and fallen leaves, you should also include symbols of you beloved family members and friends who have passed away. Pictures of them are always appropriate, as are objects that remind you of them. If you have some items that they left you, you should place them on your altar.
The Goddess at Samhain is the Old One, the Crone. She gives us wisdom and helps us let go when we are changing and growing. Any change involves letting go of something, and it’s not always easy. The Crone teaches us to look forward to the new beginnings, while also making sure we remember that which was important to us. The God is embodied in the full grown stag, with magnificent antlers. He is the Horned God, the God of the Hunt. He reminds us that our lives our gifts given by other living beings, as all food we eat (be it meat from an animal or fruit from a tree) was once alive, and has been sacrificed to provide us with nourishment.
What is happening in Nature at this time of year? Observe the world around you. Are you waiting for snow, or rain? Have the leaves changed color? Have you already planted your bulbs in the garden for next spring? What sort of new beginnings are you anticipating, and what parts of the passing season will you miss the most?
One fun way to celebrate our ancestors is to have a feast with dishes that are either traditional foods in our ancestral homes, or dishes that our more recently deceased ancestors especially liked. For our last Samhain feast, we had a dish called finnan haddie that my great grandmother liked, smoked salmon and capers on crackers which my grandfather enjoyed, and beef Stroganoff for my husband’s German ancestors. If you’re not sure which specific foods your deceased relatives loved, pick meals that are traditional in the regions your ancestors were from.
If having a big feast isn’t practical for your family, you can also set a place at the table for your ancestors. Your children can decorate the chair and make a placemat. Be sure to serve your ancestors, too. The food will be an offering to the spirits, and can also be set on your altar.
A family tree is a good, concrete way to show our children where they come from. Instead of doing the usual placing of names on the branches of the trees, try putting your ancestors on the roots, with your children’s names on the trunk. This may give children a better idea of how they were given life from their ancestors. You can include pictures or stories on your tree, too. Use a big poster board (or several) so it’s easier for everyone to see.
Pumpkin carving is a tradition of secular Halloween, but it is also a good activity to do on Samhain, as carved gourds originated with our Celtic ancestors. Depending on your children’s ages, you can talk about how long ago some people tried to put an end to the old religions by making their holidays scary. They thought that if they could make people afraid, they wouldn’t want to celebrate their old festivals anymore. That’s why secular Halloween involves lots of monsters and scary surprises. But those people couldn’t stop everyone from practicing their old religions, and that some of their traditions, like pumpkin carving, still carry on today.
To make a tasty treat, save the seeds from the pumpkins you carve. You can also include shelled sunflower seeds, walnuts, or pecans. Put the seeds and nuts into a dry skillet or in an oven heated to 300 degrees. Turn them frequently to avoid burning, and remove them from the heat when they start to brown lightly, and become fragrant. Dissolve a few teaspoons of salt in a cup of water. Sprinkle the seeds and nuts with the salt water, and when the water evaporates, your seeds will have a light coating of salt.
Create a strand of dried apple slices to decorate your altar. You can string them with a needle and embroidery floss. Try including a slice for all of your family or friends who have died, and imagine that they are able to eat and enjoy these apple slices on the Isle of Avalon, which is also called the Isle of Apples.
Since Samhain is the time when our ancestors may find it easiest to visit us, you can have your children ask for dreams about people they know who have passed on. If you think this will frighten your child, by all means don’t do it. But if your child has fond memories of a grandparent or other relative who has died, you can have them ask to be visited in their dreams. Tell them that their relative loves them very much and would like to see them and maybe give them advice. Suggest that they can tell their relative about any accomplishments or big events that have happened recently. As they lie in bed to fall asleep, help them say aloud that they would like to dream about a certain person. Have them focus on their memories of that person as they fall asleep.
Samhain is a great time to spend time with our loved ones who are still alive, too. Visiting your elderly relatives is an especially good way to celebrate, as they can probably tell you all sorts of fun stories about their childhood and what their parents and grandparents were like. If you don’t have any family close by, consider visiting a nursing home, perhaps in costume. Most nursing home residents love seeing children, and would probably get a kick out of seeing their Halloween costumes.
While the adults in the family will probably understand the full importance of a special holiday like Samhain, it may be overshadowed by the secular Halloween for your children for quite some time. If you don’t have objections to it, let them dress up and trick-or-treat, so long as you also make a point to talk about Samhain, as well. And after they’ve collected all their candy, be sure that they leave a few pieces on the altar as an offering to all those that worked so hard to give us all life.
