Choosing to Have an Abortion
I thought thats what I wanted, to be a mom. At nineteen years old? I was kidding myself, totally. I didnt fully understand that you had to be financially stable, as well as emotionally. I still live at home with my parents, work as a cashier and drive a car that need serious repairs. So why did I think I could handle a child? Blinded, I felt that I could do it because I wanted to. I had no money saved, my partner had no money saved, nothing. A child is expensive, theres food, doctor bills and clothing. When I think now, it was so stupid and thoughtless. I ended up getting pregnant, and was at first happy. Then my happiness turned into a nightmare. I realized I couldnt be a mom, I wasnt ready for that. And I wanted so badly to be ready, but you cant force that kind of thing. It was the hardest thing for me, I didnt want to go through with an abortion, it was something that I was totally against, but being in that position I saw it very differently. The worst thing about it, I believe, is the actual waiting process, when you just wait in a room for however long. When you wait, its like you think of everything, I just cried. All I could do is cry and question myself. Then it was my turn, they hooked me up to a machine, propped my legs up, sleepy time. I remember falling asleep with a tear in my eye and waking up with a tear in my eye. I was thankful that it was over, I didnt see anything and I didnt feel anything. Of course after the procedure I had pain, but that was to be expected.
This happened in the first week of 2006, and now I couldnt be more greatful for my decision. I started going to school, working more hours to pay for my car to get fixed, and my relationship is going good with my partner. I dont like to say that an abortion was my only way to go, but it was the best decision for me and my lifestyle. I dont want to rely on welfare, to help me raise my child. Of course there is nothing wrong with welfare, but I dont want to rely on anyone for anything. A child is a lot of responsibility, if you’re not ready dont do it. Have safe sex, research birth control methods or dont have sex at all. Its not a game when a childs involved, I was only 7 weeks.. very early. I wouldnt want anybody to go through the heartache of an abortion, its a very emotional rollercoaster. Hopefully, my story helps other young females and males make a better decision.
