College Roommate Issues Resolved!

Fall is swiftly approaching, which means 18 year olds everywhere are nervously awaiting the arrival of their college roommate assignments. We all know college is a great experience, you find your passion, meet your best friends, and let’s face it, party your ass off. Another great aspect of college is dorm life. True, you have a resident advisor watching over your shoulder, but you meet and get to live with students in your field of study. But, the thought of living with complete strangers isn’t exactly unnerving either. In complete truth, you and your new roomies will probably find ways to work around each other’s quirks and become friends. In any case, here are some resolutions to common problems you may experience.

My roommate always expects me to be out of the room when she wants alone time with her boyfriend. Even when she asks me if it’s ok, she makes me feel really guilty if I hesitate.

If you guys haven’t already discussed this issue in a roommate agreement or contract, now’s the time. Living under such close quarters can get rough, so it’s always a good idea to talk about these issues before they explode. Next time she tells you her boyfriend’s staying over, ask her if she can give you a few days notice next time so you can make other plans. If you still get a short notice visit, casually ask if her boyfriend has friends that live around campus and if they can stay there instead. If she refuses, or pulls a guilt trip, explain how lenient you’ve been in the past and that it’s just as much your room as hers.

My roommate is super comfortable with her body and always walks around in her underwear. We get along great and all, but this really bothers me.

If you guys get along so great, why not just talk about it? True, this can be hard because you don’t want to hurt her feelings, but honestly, do you really want to deal with this problem the rest of the year? Remember, you don’t have to be super blunt right away. For example, next time she’s lounging around in her skivvies, ask “Did you decide not to get dressed today?” or “Aren’t you ever afraid that someone might just walk right in here?” Though she may not be, your new questions may make something click. If these don’t work, suggest the two of you go out for coffee or something. This will force her to put something decent on for outside.

I swear, my roommate NEVER leaves our room! He’s always in there at his computer or watching TV. I really don’t mind him, but sometimes I have friends over and he gets in the way.

The wonderful part about college is that you meet a lot of different people. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always work out for the best. You have to realize, however, that you both have the right to be in the room whenever you want. For future notice, suggest hanging out somewhere else when you have friends over. Talk to your roomie about the next time he’s going out of town, and plan to have your friends over then.

At the beginning of the year, we agreed to alternate cleaning the bathrooms from week to week. Unfortunately, I’m the only one that keeps up with this. How can I ask them to work without seeming too bossy?

As gross as it is, some people just don’t care about their personal hygiene. Thankfully, you do. Next time you’re cleaning and you’re roommates are around, ask if they can help you. If they make excuses, remind them that you’ve been doing the majority of the cleaning and that it could get finished a lot faster with more than one person working.

My roommate is completely against underage drinking, however, I am not. Though I agreed never to drink in the room, she refuses to let me to even keep alcohol in our dorm. When she discovered a bottle I had hidden, she flipped out and threatened to tell the R.A!

I would start by not having alcohol in the room anymore. I know it seems unfair to you, but you don’t want to risk getting written up or getting involved with the police. In the meantime, find some new buddies on your floor to party with.

I’m away most weekends, but when I return I find our room a total mess! How can I get my roommate to clean up his act?

Designate Monday as your cleaning day. If he forgets, (which he probably will) wait for your roommate to be in the room for awhile and start cleaning up your section. Even if your stuff doesn’t need straightened, he’ll be reminded to clean himself. Understand that he’s entitled to his half of the room, so as long as nothing really smells, you shouldn’t say anything.

My roommate always invites her friends over to drink. I don’t drink, but I don’t want to ruin their fun so I usually just find something else to do. Lately, they’ve been coming over almost every weekend and it’s getting annoying. They take over my space and make me feel unwelcome in my own dorm!

Suggest that she have her friends over when you’re out for the night or gone for the weekend. If this still seems to be an issue, beat her to the punch. Invite your friends over before she has a chance to. I’m not suggesting fighting fire with fire here, but because dorm rooms are so small, she’ll probably decide to meet with her friends somewhere else.

I don’t know if my roommate doesn’t shower or just doesn’t wear deodorant, but he STINKS! I’m worried his odor is going to rub off on my stuff!

For now, I’d buy a couple electric air fresheners. If those aren’t allowed, tape a dryer sheet to your air vent or window screen. Also, open your door and windows to get fresh air circulating through your room. Because personal hygiene can be a touchy issue, it’s probably not a good idea to tell him flat out that he smells. Instead, try something like “Have you tried the new Axe deodorant spray?” Next time you’re at the drug store buy two and give him one. Tell him it was free with the other one and you didn’t need it.

My roommate is always taking my stuff without my permission! What is worse, sometimes she lends my stuff out to other people when I’m not around!

If your room doesn’t have a lock drawer, it’s time to buy a safe or a storage box that locks. Just put your things inside whenever you leave. Because you can’t lock up everything, remind your roommate that you have no problem lending things out, you just need to be asked first.

Bottom line: if any of these problems get out of control, you need to set up a meeting with your resident advisor. He’ll mediate your conflict and present a possible compromise. Remember though, your new agreement may take a little effort on your part as well. If you still feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel, you can request a room reassignment. In this case, however, YOU are the one that usually has to move, not your roommate.