Computer Error – or User Error?
Having lost two hours of work, I was about to rave, roll on the floor, foam at the mouth and bite the electrical cord like I always do – when a startling thought occurred to me – what if it really wasn’t a computer error? What if it was user error?
It occurred to me that like millions working at the terminals I wasn’t really trained and had no idea what I was doing. Computers have come upon us so quickly that many of us were unprepared. Classes are jammed with cybernetic neophytes, and those of us less fortunate are learning as best we can “on the fly.” User error is the inevitable result.
Of course, those who sell the computers say it’s easy. “Just plug it in. You’ll learn. I can show you how in 32 easy steps. Computer error is an absurd heresy. Trust me.”
I’m not saying that computers aren’t a wonderful invention, or that it doesn’t make things easier. I use them. Or do they use me? I’m not sure.
Much of the user error (and perceived computer error) is due to the fact that most of us weren’t warned about the ruthless logic that computers use. History should have taught the designers that human beings and logic don’t mix. For some of us the computer is just too much of a giant step forward in technological evolution. Providing computers for us in the work place is like giving people who write on clay tablets a Gutenberg printing press and asking for a complete edition of Plato’s works by next Tuesday.
It’s not hard to see there’s an amazing amount of operator error among computer-users. Some people master one program or function well, but just one. It’s like someone using only a small part of his or her brain, say one square inch of the temporal lobe. We’re computer-incompetent. Just imagine the immediate repercussions if we were as inept at other things we do everyday as we are at operating our computers.
At the moment you are reading this a car would come crashing through your front bay window and stop with its front wheels against your couch, knocking it over. The door on the driver’s side would creak open slowing and then swing out, smacking the screen of your television set. A middle-aged man with shaking hands would hobble out and say, “I’m sorry. I can never remember if it’s the foot lever on the right or the left.”
A victim of user error, you would hobble to the phone to call an ambulance. You’d get only a voice recording, “If you are trying to make a call, please hang up and try again.” And it would be no surprise when, after you finally reached someone, the ambulance destroyed your tulips.
If people operated other things as well as many of us operate computers, every restaurant would keep a lawyer on staff to deal with lawsuits. (The lawyer himself would never eat there.) Wheels would routinely roll off cars going down the street. Dishwashers would explode and burst into flame on the third use. The federal government would continue on as usual.
I was watching C-Span as a speaker was shuffling papers before testifying before Congress. She began talking. The microphone didn’t work. She messed with the switch on the side – nothing. She began speaking again – still no sound. She tried the button once more and resumed speaking – still nothing. Finally, the speaker next to her gave her his microphone, and she became audible.
Somehow I suspect that a computer and user error were involved.
