Controlling Your Anger
Tone Of Voice
Tone of voice can have a big effect on people. If you are yelling at someone, it will almost always bring a negative result of some kind. Some may say that it is necessary for them to yell to be taken seriously. Many times, we can achieve the same effect by a certain look or a sharp (not loud) voice. The results are often the same as if you had raised your voice but you didn’t have to make the other party feel bad or upset them.
Remove Yourself
There is nothing wrong with removing yourself from the situation. (ie: walking out of the room, etc.) Staying put often results in us saying or doing something in the heat of anger that we end up regretting. How many times have you done that? Take a powder man. Remove yourself.
Don’t Drive Your Car
Getting all mad and jumping in your car is almost NEVER a good idea. Do you know how many idiots get in accidents when they get all angry and jump in their car? It’s likely you’ll squeal the tires coming out of the driveway or parking lot and floor the pedal. Not only are you endangering your own life and property but the lives and property of others. Stay out of the driver’s seat.
Relax
Easier said than done I know but we all have activities that relax us. Run, play guitar, work out, play racket ball, take a walk, smoke a cigarette. The point here is to relax and calm down. Back when I was a young man and in the US Navy, I bypassed my chain of command and wrote up a Master Chief Petty Officer. (that’s an E9 and the highest you can get in the enlisted ranks). My supervisor officer seriously reprimanded me for not going to him first. I explained to him that I was angry and though I should have talked to him first, out of anger, I just went straight to the security department and wrote up an E9 Master Chief Petty Officer. (takes a lot of guts for an E3 to write up an E9). He gave me a bit of advice that I still give to others 16 years later. “Never act while you’re angry. Wait until you calm down BEFORE you act. When you act while angry, 90% of the time, you’re going to screw up in some way.” Wise words from a wise man.
Count To Ten
That does really work. If you’d rather not count, sing a song to yourself, recite a poem to yourself. This is another effective method of anger management and it DOES work.
A List of DON’TS.
DON’T resort to violence. That is about as cut and dried as it gets. That goes for women too. Raising your hand in anger to your man or woman is NOT appropriate and is inexcusable.
DON’T hit the wall. Guys, we’ve all done that at least once. It may work to calm you down though. As soon as you break your hand, you’ll calm down. If you MUST punch something, two rules of thumbs apply.
DON’T hit the person you’re angry at. This goes for women too. Raising your hand is just not appropriate. Keep your mitts down.
DON’T punch a window or wall. Trust me, if you go into an emergency room with a broken or cut up hand from getting angry and punching a wall (or anything that doesn’t move or give) or a window, you’re going to feel VERY stupid and having a bone set and/or stitches will not make the incident any more pleasant. If you MUST punch something, try something that will give like a mattress or a punching bag.
DON’T get drunk. Alcohol only inflates feelings. If you’re angry, alcohol will make you nasty. If you’re sad, it will make you sadder. Get drunk and you just end up the next morning with a hangover and that doesn’t make a difficult situation any easier to handle, that’s for sure.
We all get angry from time to time and we’ve all handled it from time to time inappropriate ways. Hopefully, we’ve learned from those times. If not, perhaps some of the advice above may come into mind the next time you’re angry. Anger management is essential to the longevity of a healthy relationship of ANY kind.
