Corona-Norco Can Only Dream of Losing that Special Inland Empire Identity

It’s not that it was done for Corona’s benefit on purpose, but it is no secret that local residents have tried to take undue advantage of the fact that the phone company has released them from the 909 scarlet area code they wore on their phone numbers. And I speak exclusively of Corona and surrounding neighborhoods, butting up against the edge of Orange County like nosy little sisters dragged along to the dance because mom made big sister take us. While it’s true that Riverside is also now 9-5-1, not only does Riverside pretty much define the IE no matter what area code identifies it, my impression is that Riverside is actually somewhat self-deprecatingly proud of its Inland Empire status and has no notion of shedding it.

But Corona-Norco (and Corona residents will forgive me for lumping them together with my neighborhood, or maybe they won’t, but our High School football team is way better than any that they have managed to scrape up, so la-di-da…) is not so resigned. We struggle against that Inland Empire vibe that has caused local mayors to speak out in protest of prime-time soap opera depictions and OC teens to sneer behind the backs of immigrant night-life seekers. But it is to no avail. We will not shed the association, no matter how high housing prices get.

There are several factors that contribute to the futility of our efforts to be seen as more OC than IE. But the number one factor I think is an east OC conspiracy.

91 freeway traffic.

For those not familiar with the experience, driving from anywhere east of Yorba Linda to any point west in the a.m., or back in the p.m., is merely a wishful notion. You’d do better to wait for FEMA to airlift you from the top of your motionless vehicle and take you to a IE refugee center. It’s faster to hike.

The thing is, there is exactly one way into Orange County that accommodates every one of the three million Inland Empire residents, seemingly well over one hundred percent of whom work in Orange County. There is no alternate route. “Take side streets” you often hear when freeway traffic is bad. Not into OC from the IE. Not an option. You get to Green River Road and you are told, sorry, but, you’ll have to join the mass, motionless exodus. Have you ever tried to re-cork a champaign bottle? It’s easier than driving the 91 westbound in the morning.

And that’s the way Yorba Linda likes it. You see, I think the lack of alternate side streets is a conspiracy. It is the result of Yorba Linda residents systematically protecting their farms and monuments to shamed and discredited world leaders from the unwashed masses of IE commuters. They don’t want their side streets jammed with alternate route seekers. So Gypsum Canyon Road sits there at the edge of the county like minutemen at the border crossing, unfinished, unrelenting, uninviting, turning away innocent guest workers yearning to get to back to their almost affordable homes, unlatch their chain-link fence, step over the threadbare mattress in the front yard and sit back on the porch with a Pabst Blue Ribbon and the homey smell of manure.

One simple, two-lane access road. That’s all it would take for an alternate route, to get us off the parking lot. Riverside and San Bernardino residents would not bother with it. Its just for us Corona-Norco folks. We’re really close to you OC-ers, we’re not really 909. Look at all of our new houses and elementary schools. They all look like they could be in the nicer areas of Fullerton, for crying out loud. They cost about as much these days. So I say, let us connect. Annex us, if you must.

Alas, it will never happen.

At least there’s the Metrolink. It’s a bit pricey, but it’s emotionally cheap. And fast. And you don’t really need your car when you work in Irvine. Everything you need is a walk or quick bus ride away (on the nation’s #1 public transportation system for 2005, I might add). Corona-Norco has a very long way to go to catch up with that little OC advantage, I’ll give you that. If the word “sucks” had only been invented to describe one thing that does, it would have been for the RTA system in Corona and Norco.

So that’s why I take the train in. Perhaps it tags me as IE rabble among my co-workers, as I always assert the right to leave before the last train out while everyone else has to work late into the night to meet a deadline that was carelessly set by some ruthless marketing despot who lives in Laguna Niguel and leaves at 4:30 himself anyway, but the freedom from rear-end numbing traffic makes it worth the negative image. Sometimes, In a reflective moment, as I look up from my OC Weekly magazine and out the window at all the freeway prisoners, I ask myself, “Can’t they see me? Don’t they know they can be free?” And then I shrug and get back to my magazine and coffee.

Yes, I read the OC Weekly. It’s available everywhere in the IE. Maybe that too is a symptom of the identity crisis. Hey. Maybe one day they’ll start up an IE Weekly. No, probably not. Identity crises can be inhibiting that way.