Courtship: Is it Essential for Marriage?
I am astounded by the current developments in marriages. General knowledge has it that approximately 50% of total marriages end up in divorce, the rate of which continue to increase immensely. It also overwhelms when these marriages actually occur from the modern concept of courtship.
The reasons for divorce range from lack of communication down to sexual intercourse negotiations, finances and some ‘petty’ preferences occasioned by differences between partners; reasons of which are supposed to be overcome during the courtship period.
I am not a sociologist, neither am I a historian, but ‘tales and fables’ handed down from my own community has it that divorce was unheard of, and courtship was a taboo. Immediately the dawn of modernism hit the borders of globalization age, with the Western world playing a leading role in enhancing the human right of free choice and movement, courtship was one of the reforms introduced as a means to achieving a life long marital partner.
The hallmarks of courtship include such elements as mutual attraction, affection, understanding, appreciation and sharing personal goals, views, aspirations, ambitions and accepting the other person’s objectives in life. It is also theorized that during the period of courtship, those who are aspiring to tie the knot are to be aware of the differences between them that may lead to breakdown. But why, if all these good moral traits are those attributed to courtship, the increase of divorce rate? When courtship is such an open field of venture, in comparison to the ancient way of marriage when parents played the leading role in choice of partners for the sons and daughters, do we have couples breakup though they were lovers during courtship? Is there a link between courtship and divorce and how far does courtship contribute to divorce?
Diverse answers are available from different quarters, depending on the time and place of birth, nurture and schooling of whoever will give the answers. Some will view this on their religious affiliations, human right philosophy or even modernity/post-modernity attitudes. But no matter what kind of answers, the fact remains that during the ancient times, marriages were long lasting till the times of ‘death do us part’ while divorces continues daily in our courtship period.
As a scientist, I view life in the cause and effect analysis. If courtship was not encouraged and marriages lasted till death, and that encouragement of courtship has brought about mounting divorce rate, then it is logical to conclude that courtship has an upper hand in affecting the nature of marriages witnessed.
Personally I know of five cases of happy marriages where parents played a major role in bringing the couples together. If you are a believer in the Bible, then you know that the best-recorded marriage in that Holy book is when a father sent his servant to look for his son a wife amongst the father’s people. Hey guys, why don’t you let your marriage be a happy one by letting someone who can play a role of parenthood (ideal parenthood for that matter), be the one to do the owe-some job of looking for you a partner?
