Creating a Happy Marriage
So many women go into marriage with fantasies of a perfect relationship and quickly discover that they were very wrong.
Marriage is not perfect, your husband is not perfect but there are ways to make both the marriage and your spouse happy.
Yes, a happy marriage and a happy spouse is a choice. While the following is not a sure fire guarantee that you will never have a disagreement, it can significantly reduce how often a small tiff becomes a full blown argument.
Pick Your Battles
When your husband comes through the door and walks across your freshly mopped floor with his muddy boots you need to ask yourself if it’s worth the fight. Did he do this purposely? It’s unlikely that he had planned on his drive home to arrive and promptly track mud through the house.
Getting angry is going to make him defensive but if you have to clean this up, you are also going to be more than a bit put off. Hand him the broom and say. “I got to clean it the first time, you get to clean it the second.” Keep in mind your tone will effect how he responds to this. Say it pleasantly and maybe even give him a smile or a wink when you hand him the broom. Most men actually do feel bad when they have absent mindedly been careless or oblivious to your efforts and will sweep up the mess they created. You have just avoided a fight and you are both much happier.
In the end before you get angry, make sure that it is truly worth the fight. If it is something that can be easily resolved, find a way to do so.
Don’t Be A Constant Complainer
This goes along the lines of pick your battles. If you want a happy marriage, you need to be a happy wife. Don’t knit pick the little things. Make sure when you start complaining it’s for a good reason. Think of someone you know that is always miserable, their life is horrible, their marriage is horrible, their job is horrible. Even when something nice happens they can find fault with something. Eventually, you simply quit listening to them. You might nod from time to time but sooner or later, you simply don’t hear a thing they are saying. If all you do is find fault and complain eventually your husband will quit “hearing” you as well.
Appreciate The Small Stuff
Many women feel as if their spouse has forgotten about them in the day to day but if you take the time to notice the little things, he will never forget about you. Most husbands don’t bring flowers home every payday. Though pay attention to the little things he does do for you. Does he check the oil on car before you leave the house? This is his way of telling you he is concerned. Does he bring home your favorite candy bar? Remember, he had to think about you to buy that candy bar. Instead of noticing what your husband doesn’t do in your marriage notice the things he does do for you.
Communicate
Men are the first to admit they don’t understand women. When you husband sticks his both of his feet in his mouth before you get angry tell him what you think he just said. Many times you will find that what he said and what he meant very different things. This exercise can work both ways. Women and men speak in two very different languages. The more you talk clearly with one another the better you will understand what both are trying to say. Without good communication you will not have a good marriage.
Remember Why You Fell In Love
Day to day life can make anyone crazy. It can also take its toll on a marriage as work, kids and other obligations get in the way of your relationship. Remind yourself everyday about at least one thing that made you fall in love with your husband. Make love a choice and love will come back to you many times over.
If you truly put forth an effort to have a good and happy marriage, you will reap the rewards. When other marriages are falling apart, yours will still be standing strong. You will be in love with your husband and he will be in love with his wife. Others will look to your marriage as the example of what they hope their marriage can be ten years down the road.
