Custody Disputes and Father’s Rights

Divorce and separation is an already ugly matter but when you add children in the mix it s down right discouraging and often painful. Father’s usually go into custody disputes thinking they have already lost. Those who are fortunate enough to hire lawyers usually hear how the mothers never loose”, “mothers are always right”, and “don’t expect to have your children for more than two days at a time.” Lawyers will often encourage fathers to settle for mere visitation instead of custody because then they aren’t as likely to lose the case for the minimal work involved with just seeking a few visits per year.

Don’t worry dads; there is hope if you follow a few simple rules. First, you must be organized, and if you are going to hire a lawyer you must find one that is not only tough, but well prepared and organized himself. Secondly, if you intend to take a child away from its mother you must have a damn good reason. And always remember three things a judge will be watching for when making an ultimate decision:

� NO Mental Games ie: stalking, harassment of any kind (physical, emotional, via the telephone, anything like that)

� NO disparaging remarks! You do not tell your children lies, no matter how bad you want them to be true because in the end your children will grow up and when they do they will discover the truth.

� Always put your children first. Do not be consumed by the fight between you and your ex. Simply fight the battle so you and your children can get on with your lives.

There will be many battles during this ugly courtroom fiasco, some you will win, some you will loose it is a fact of life that you must get used to. Some men, most in fact, get put through the proverbial wringer and more often than not treated like a dead beat dad. The dead beat dad stereo type has been done to death I know, but it is still alive and well in our society and judges will judge you before they even find out the facts. This brings me back to the simple ruleâÂ?¦. Be Prepared! The types of situations men find themselves in as per the request of their ‘ex’ are usually anger management classes when women pull the ‘abuse card’. This includes, but is not limited to, parenting classes, drug and alcohol assessments, drug and alcohol classes, etcâÂ?¦.. And before you think this can’t happen to you, it can! Even if you have never been arrested, never did drugs and never hit a woman this can happen to you!

It is another little known fact that most men will lose custody and lose battles for custody because they can not keep a level head to fight the slanderous remarks and well planned attacks executed by the other party. Know your stuff! Learn all you can about past cases that are similar to your circumstances. You can go to the law libraries or via the internet to learn the deciding factors in the judgments of cases like yours to persuade the judge to see that YOU are the ‘more fit’ parent. You must remain solid and soundâÂ?¦. Do not blow up, I know it is hard but trust me keep your cool!

Remember all of this advice when dealing with manipulative ex’s that will do anything to hurt you. All fathers have rights and no one can take that away from you!