Discipline and Your Young Child!
Anyone can be disciplined to behave in a certain manner. Even adults can become disciplined. For instance, an adult who overeats can be disciplined not to do so. An adult who smokes can be disciplined to stop. In other words, the person learns a new behavior, that of NOT overeating or that of NOT smoking. A person may have to take several steps to get to that point and it may not be easy but it can be done.
Discipline is often most effective with young children. It appears to be easier to teach a young child to behave in a different manner than an adult or even an older child. This is because young children do not have preconceived notions about behaviors and are much more flexible, in general.
So, how do you discipline a young child?
You start very simply by teaching him the proper ways to behave. You teach him right from wrong. You teach him to do the things you find acceptable. This means different things at different ages. For babies and toddlers, it may mean telling them “no” and directing them to a different activity. For preschoolers it may mean explaining why they can’t do a certain thing and reinforcing that with a time out if necessary. Preschoolers can also be redirected to a new activity to help them to move on. Some things you need to remember when disciplining a child is that you need to take into account his personality. Children of different temperaments will behave differently in different situations. If you know your child’s general temperament, it is easier to deal with any situation. In addition, you need to take into account, you reaction to events. Your reaction inadvertently tells the child a lot about how he should or should not behave. Here are a few techniques that are used to discipline children and how to carry them out:
1. Natural Consequences: When you allow your child to experience natural consequences to his behavior, he will quickly learn the right ways to behave! For example, if you have set mealtimes and your child chooses not to eat then he has to wait for the next scheduled meal or snack time to eat again.
2. Logical consequences: Sometimes you have to create the consequences for your child to learn. A child may not clean up his dinner dishes. This doesn’t bother him too much. However, if the child does not get any dishes at the next meal, she will see the reason to help clean up next time without a fuss.
3. With holding privileges Sometimes you need to take something away from a child who fails to behave. Say your child has hit another child. You can then tell that child that he may not watch a movie that he regularly watches in the afternoon because he was misbehaving. Remember to make the privilege something that the child usually enjoys and will miss. This will make the technique that much more effective.
4. Time Out: A time out is a chance for a child to settle down from whatever mishap has occurred. Sometimes kids just need a short break. A time out place should be a place away from all other activity.
5. Re-Direction: When redirecting a child, a parent should move the child to a different activity. If a child is having a hard time sharing the baby dolls with other children, the child should be taken away from that area and allowed to lay with the blocks or read a book. This is a way to say to the child that if she cannot do what is expected, then she will have to do something different.
And, along with the techniques above there are some rules you have to remember to follow. Here are some other pieces of advice for parents trying to discipline their children:
1. You are the role model that your children emulate. Do what you expect of your child. If you want the child to eat broccoli, then you should eat some too. If you don’t want your child hitting, you should not hit!
2. Be consistent. Make sure that every time a behavior occurs, the same thing happens. For example, every time your child spits his food at you, his food is taken away.
3. Follow through. If you tell a child that a privilege will be withheld, for example, then DO WITHHOLD. Don’t make idle threats or your children will continue with behaviors you do not like because they know you will not stop them!
4. Be realistic: Make sure any punishments you dole out are realistic and are things you can follow through on. Don’t make threats that you can’t follow through on.
5. Don’t give in: If you give in once, expect your child to exhibit the same behavior over and over again. For example if you are in the grocery store and your child throws a temper tantrum at the check out because he wants candy and you give him candy, you can expect that he will repeat the behavior the next time you are at the grocery store even if he promises that he will not do so!
6. Avoid trouble before trouble starts. For example, if you don’t want your toddler to play in the bathroom sink, make it impossible for him to do so by using safety gates, closed doors, or doorknob locks.
7. Acknowledge feelings. Your child may be sad that she has to leave the playground. Let her know that you know she may be sad but that you will return another time. Be as specific as possible.
8. Give choices when possible but, again, be realistic! Offer a toddler two choices rather than a broad variety. “Do you want peas or green beans?” is better than “what vegetable do you want for lunch?” Or when your child is getting dressed ask, “Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?” rather than saying to your preschooler “Pick out some clothes!”
9. Praise good behavior but don’t over do it. Give specific praise. Rather than saying “great job” a better choice would be to say, “thank you for helping me when I asked you to.”
You and your children can get along well together if you remember some of these rules and if you remember to always respect each other!
