Do You Treat Your Business the Same Way You Treat Your Number-One Relationship?

Business – a strange phenomenon. Here is how I understand it.

I choose a business idea. I research and watch similar businesses to see what works. I decide on my target market. I invest hard-earned (or hard-borrowed) money to develop flashy marketing materials, make a ton of phone calls, and enter into a ‘courtship’ to attract those ideal customers into my place of business. I go to great lengths to provide exceptional customer service, invest hours of time, piles of money, and great effort to ensure that those customers like and trust me.

My intent is to have those same loyal customers for years and years and years and years (a really long time). I want them to talk favourably about me to all of their friends, family, and colleagues. The desired result is a win-win relationship where my customer receives exceptional service, and I profit; intrinsically with good feelings, and extrinsically with financial and material rewards. It makes my customers’ life great, and it makes my life great. Cool deal.

If I don’t provide exceptional service, my customers may become dissatisfied and go elsewhere. Ouch, I don’t want that.

Is that how you understand business?

What about the business of a primary relationship with a partner or spouse?

Hmmm, very similar. Here is what happened for me.

I got an idea of how a relationship ‘should be.’ Fortunately, I had great models. My parents, Neil and Elizabeth Ohler, modelled unconditional love, respect, kindness, trust, and effective communication – most of the time. Hey, they are humans!

From this research, I decided upon qualities that my life partner, my ideal customer, would have. I envisioned a life-long relationship with her. I invested hard-earned money to be a flashy marketing piece, I made tons of phone calls, and I entered into many ‘courtships,’ searching for my perfect life customer. I found Carol. I provided exceptional customer service, invested hours of time, piles of money, and great effort to ensure that she liked and trusted me, and that I liked and trusted her. I wanted her to talk favourably about me to her family, friends, and colleagues.

Finally, she asked me if she could enter my place of business – my home. Boy that was the biggest sales job I ever did.

But then things changed. All of a sudden we had each other. We agreed to live together, and even sleep together. But the ‘best practices’ of business seemed to disappear. Instead of continuing the courtship, continuing to provide exceptional customer service, and intending on a win-win relationship, I started to ignore, disregard, and neglect Carol. I was rude, disrespectful, and hurtful at times. To be quite blunt, I was a bit of a schmuck.

Do you think I was rewarded intrinsically and extrinsically for my level of customer service? Do you feel I deserved to be rewarded for this?

I am so thankful that I learned the lessons before my ‘ideal customer’ walked out of my door, never to return.

What about you? How do you operate your ‘business’ of your personal partnership?

Here are my ‘Happy Half-Dozen Hints’ to improve the level of personal customer service.

– Kindness – Treat your partner as he/she would like to be treated. Ask rather than assume.

– Respect – Show admiration and high-regard for your partner. When you look for, and expect the very best, that is what you will see. If you look for the worst, you will see exactly that.

– Share thoughts and feelings – Be willing to talk about the good and the bad. Always use the words I, me, and my, because what you are sharing is your perspective only.

– Listen attentively – Yup! That says LISTEN, which means to keep your mouth shut and use those two little things on the side of your head. Listen with the intent to understand how he/she sees it. It is not effective to be reloading your ‘verbal gun’ in preparation to fire back. Set aside your emotions, ego, and agenda. Listen and learn. Through an understanding of your partner’s perspective, you will eliminate, or resolve many of your issues.

– Honesty – When you always tell the truth, you don’t have to worry about mixing-up your stories.

– Gratitude – Take time everyday to be thankful for your experiences of life. Develop an attitude of gratitude toward people, places, and events.

You may be thinking, “But my life is so complex. It’s not that easy.”

Hogwash! It is that easy if you commit to it. Or would you rather the alternative?

I challenge you to test out the hints listed above. Use them generously, with love, and without attachment to any specific outcome. You will like the results – guaranteed.