Does Your Teen Blog?:

You’ve heard the word ‘blog’ before and probably know vaguely what it is. But did you know that blogging is a growing trend in the preteen/teen world today? A blog (from ‘weblog’) is an online journal. It is similar to a written diary In that it is usually comprised of personal thoughts, experiences, and feelings. The difference, however, is that blog entries are posted on the internet. Think about that. What if you’re teen broadcast the contents of her diary to anyone interested in listening? In the wrong hands, blogs can become fertile ground for cyber-bullying, explicit and inappropriate material, and predators. DOES YOUR TEEN HAVE A BLOG? Just ask them, advises Parry Aftab a privacy and security lawyer, who is Founder and Director of the internet safety website, WiredSafety.org. “Tell parents not to panic. If they have a kid in their mid-teens, they more than likely have a kid who has a blog.” Juliana Langley, 16 of Bedford, NY says that although she has been warned by her parents about internet safety, she keeps a blog that her parents know nothing about. “My mom knows I have a journal, but I won’t tell her how to get it. My parents would get pissed and paranoid if they found out I had pictures online and talked to people I don’t know. They would probably make me delete it.” Langley agrees that blogging is not always safe and tells the story of one encounter which seemed shady. ” I’ve had guys ask to meet me before and one kid actually tried to date me. I’d never met him, and only talked to him twice online before he was telling me how I seemed like the perfect girl and that he’d come from New Jersey to hang out with me. He got blocked pretty fast!” SAFETY Aftab warns that parents should be careful how they label “blogs”. “These are social networking websites, not really regular blogs”, says Aftab. She explains that while regular blogs are often obscure, much smaller, and not easy to find online, there are a handful of very popular social networking websites that are a mix of a website and Match.com. “They are large networks that all the kids (and predators) go to and that’s what makes them dangerous.” Additionally, these sites often have search capabilities in which predators can sift through profiles of kids, to find out key facts such as where they live, what school they attend, or even view photos. Some sites even include a rate system for blogs ranging from “cold to hot” by viewing members pictures and profiles.

Melissa Bradford of Gramercy Park says that although her teens don’t yet have blogs, she still monitors what her kids do in cyberspace. “I continually check on what my kids are doing on the computer. I sneak looks at the screen and question anything I feel is inappropriate. I can’t monitor every moment, of course, but neither can I monitor every moment they are out of my sight. I trust them, ask questions, and am confident they are, at least, trying to make good choices. Bradford does not rule out blogging, “If they wanted to start a blog, I would be open to it as long as I knew the basic content and could look at it from time to time.” LEWD CONTENT Blogs invite lewd material. Kids post headshots of themselves on their profiles that can be copied by disgruntled classmates, placed on top of naked bodies, and posted on the internet. Aftab cites situations in which boys will brag about their penis size or girls will pose topless just to fit in. She tells of a 14 year old girl who resorted to inappropriate postings in order to become popular. Just having moved to a new school, the teen’s answer to why she posted suggestive material was simple: “No one gives you time to get to know you”. Often teens will think they are being safe online, but inadvertently list an identifying fact about themselves. Even something as innocent as posting what school they attend, mall they hang out in, or placing a photo of them in their school uniform let predators know where the child will be during school hours. BLOGS AND CYBER BULLYING Cecilia Manning, 15 of Brooklyn, says that she has a friend who is a cyber bully, “Derrick bullies 3 kids in my school by saying that they are gay- 2 boys and a girl.

The boys just post back cruel stuff on their blogs, but the girl doesn’t. Derrick always called her a lesbian on his site but when she told him she really was gay, he stopped doing it”, says Manning. Angela Evans, 14, from the Upper West Side says although she has heard of friends who are cyber bullies, she edits her blog before she submits it so nothing in her blog will offend anyone in a moment of anger. “I think about what I am going to write and after I write it, I go over it and check it to make sure there’s nothing that I don’t want anyone to see. ” Evans also notes the cathartic effect blogging has for her. “I write about what happens, what I feel like any particular day, things I do, and things that bother me and it makes me feel better just getting my feelings out.” SELF EXPRESSION Likewise, the majority of kids create their own blogs for very innocent purposes. Steven Romano, an eighth grader from Bensonhurst says that his blog exists mostly to express his feelings. I wanted to have a blog because at the end of the school day, sometimes I want to unwind and let out my anger and frustrations. Writing about what happened helps me feel better because in a way, then I can get rid of it.” Romano says that he is very careful when it comes to writing about others. “I only write about myself and I don’t gossip because I wouldn’t want to get other people involved and hurt someone.”

IT ALL COMES DOWN TO COMMUNICATION Noted psychologist, parenting specialist and author, Dr. Sylvia Rimm, says there’s no reason to ban or insist on reading blogs. “Instead, parents could express interest in what they’ve written and kids could enjoy sharing with parents if they have a good relationship with them. It might even be the basis of some good conversations”, says Dr. Rimm. However, Dr. Rimm, whose new book “Growing Up Too Fast”, a report on the secret world of America’s middle schoolers, warns that if a parent suspects something, they should investigate. “Kids should know that if parents are worried about their children, it’s a parent’s responsibility to read everything or anything that will give them insights – that’s where privacy and confidentiality stop. When safety of your child is concerned, don’t hesitate to check out e-mail or anything else to protect your child. That does not mean you have to snoop at everything. Kids deserve some privacy. What we absolutely know it that kids are less likely to get involved in high risk behaviors if parents are very clear about limits and values – not foolproof, but even if they roll those eyes let them know about family values. And that works best when all parents and adults parenting kids are on the same page.”