Don’t Teach Just Fear and Safety, Teach Fun Too

Fear. Natural disasters, terrorist attacks, bird flu, sexual predators, a jittery economy, injuries, bad grades, bad choices. These are all fears that we have for our children. And they are real and possibly devastating. But are we over reacting? Are we teaching our children (and ourselves) to be afraid of everything? Are we building a culture of fear, in which we scuttle about in our own little bubble world and constantly have anxiety about the world around us? Possibly.

First, the dangers from all of the fears listed above, and most others, is vastly overstated. Part of the reason is that every corner of the globe can now be instantly covered on the news, 24 hours a day. This is a good thing, information in and of itself never hurt anyone. It is what we do with and how we respond to that information that is important. How we digest what we see and read and how we deal with that information with regards to our children is the key.

Natural disasters happen, and may happen more as damage to the environment is reflected in weather changes. At this time in human development, there is absolutely nothing we can do to stop them. What we can do is to prepare our families in a way that gives them the best chance of survival in the face of disasters. Not to huddle in fear, or call them “Gods Wrath,” but to take responsibility to live through them, as the vast majority of people in a disaster event do.

The same applies to fears about terrorists. The so-called “War on Terror” is far from being over. If we are to continue to have policies that place large military forces in the Middle East, than we can expect more terrorists to take up arms against us. So what do we do? We don’t become complacent, but we don’t live in fear either. There is very little likelihood that the average American will be a victim of terrorism. So we should go about our lives, and not overly stress our children.

Sexual predators need to be better tracked, and/or detained. Not sexual offenders, there is a large difference. We don’t need to ruin the lives of a man who at the age of 24 who had a 17 year old girlfriend. We don’t need to teach our children to be afraid to interact with anyone either. Children are far more likely to be molested by a relative or church youth pastor or the like than by a stranger. Children can learn much from other adults, if they are not taught to immediately fear them. And the stranger can be their best source of help in an emergency.

The other concerns, like bird flu, the economy, etc. are also out of our control. The best we can do is to require our government to take responsible leadership roles so that we are as prepared as possible. It is smart to be prepared, it is stupid to live in fear. We cannot be constantly afraid.

All the calamities listed above and most others you can think of combined will not take as many lives as bad driving will in one year. People are afraid to let their children play outside or in playgrounds for fear of them getting kidnapped or getting hurt, yet they drive them to school while they are on the cell phone and doing makeup. What we need to do is to be smart. To be aware of dangers and prepared to react to them. Not to fear what “might happen.” Let our kids have fun, let them run, ride, and even sometimes get hurt. Stop trying to sanitize the world against any possibility and let them learn to embrace life.

If we do teach our children to fear things from all sides, they might become afraid to take chances in life, and may miss many of the opportunities life affords us. Or they may go the other way, and rebel against what they see as ridiculous fear and begin risky behaviors. If they perceive all our fears as overblown, they wont be as likely to listen to our warnings about drugs, for example. Teach them to love life, to take reasonable risks, and to see life as more than a relentless pursuit of consumer goods. All of us will be the happier for it in the long run.