Dutch Dating; Common in the 21st Century?

Dating in the 21st century is, undoubtedly, complicated. With online dating, social dating and blind dating offering many alternatives to single adults, the question regarding etiquette is often lying in the subconscious of single adults.

For a first date, most consultants believe it is common acceptance for a man to pay for the expenses associated with the date. With this in mind, single women are encouraged to be mindful of the expenses involved and incurred while on the date. While, traditionally, there is an underlying subconscious correlation between the amount spent on a first date and the level or degree to which the man is interested, this is often not the case. Unless the man has a lottery winning stashed away, dating can become quite expensive thus leaving many men in a position to struggle with selection and planning in the dating process.

For a change in first date mentality, consider “going Dutch”, allowing each person to pay for their own meal and entertainment. By doing so, the first date will allow focus to be made on getting to know, and becoming acquainted with, the person for the first time rather than placing a value on the date based on the amount of money spent by the man. Additionally, by “going Dutch”, this will equalize the dating playing field. Although dating tends to follow traditional rules, especially on a first date, “going Dutch” is a feasible alternative and will most likely lead to a second date based on compatibility and not based on a pre-conceived notion of the “value” someone has placed on you.

While “going Dutch” is a polite and courteous alternative to a first date, many men will opt to pay for the meal and entertainment citing a level of respect for the traditional roles of male and female in the courtship process. In this scenario, it is appropriate to allow the man to pay, however, offering to pick up your portion of the bill is considered courteous.

Beyond the first date, proper dating etiquette recommends the invitor pay for the invitee. In other words, if a woman requests or recommends additional dates, the woman is generally expected to offer to pay for the meals and entertainment involved.
Again, if the man interjects and wishes to pay, he should be allowed to do so. However, if, as a female, you plan and recommend the date, 21st century dating guidelines do insist the invitor pay for all expenses incurred while on the date.

Whatever the dating selection, financial decisions, even on a first date, can be challenging. As women, the most important rule of thumb is to be mindful of the financial burden so many men accept in the dating scene and offering to “go Dutch” may land the second and third date you so desire.