Dyscalculia: Learning Disability Affects Ability to Manipulate Numbers
Then I think I must have been sick. I was out one day and then when I came back to school all of the number-lines were gone. I remember being handed a test and everyone around me was filling in numbers like crazy and I had no clue what to do with any of it. I remember watching some kids doing this thing where they were tapping their pencil points against the paper and I thought maybe they were counting points on the numbers. Now that I think about it I am thinking they were tapping out small dots on the paper.
From that moment on me and math did not get along. I must say life since then, when it came to numbers, has been nothing short of a nightmare. Whereas most of the world if you give them two numbers and ask them to add them together they can spout off the answer in a second. Even the most basic adding, however, for me is nearly impossible. If I were to ask you what fourteen plus twelve is you could probably tell me without even thinking about it.
However, for me, I scrunch up my eyes or even close them. I have to imagine a piece of paper in my head and picture the two numbers and then slowly, very slowly, add them in my head. If you give me a bigger number, say one with three digits, you can forget about it.
I cannot and have never been, able to calculate how much change I should get back when I hand over more money than is required. I am completely at the mercy of the person behind the cash register. This lead to some very comic moments when I worked in retail. I relied entirely on the cash register. I lived in terror of the moments when I would give the customer a total and they would hand over a twenty dollar bill and then, suddenly, discover they had a bunch of change they wanted to get rid of. It was like I would go into vapor-lock. Several times I voided the entire transaction and started again. A few times I just told them to keep their change. Other times I would reach for the calculator.
When I was in grammar school, in the fourth grade, I had a teacher humiliate me and make fun of my inability to comprehend math in front of the entire class. Then, when she was done with the public thing she got, literally, into my face and told me she would make it her mission so that I was not the only college student still counting with his fingers.
Well, I am proud to say I not only counted through college but that I graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree and with departmental honors and I still count with my fingers. Recently, however, I found out there may be an actual name for my disorder. For years I had been telling people I had something similar to dyslexia but with numbers. Turns out, I was right.
Dyscalculia is a learning disability that is a neurological disorder that affects a person’s ability to understand and/or manipulate numbers. Some of the signs are:
1. Problems differentiating between left and right – this has never been much of a problem for me.
2. Having a poor sense of direction and may also have trouble still even with a compass – while I am able to figure it out with a compass you can talk to anyone I have ever attempted to give direction to and they can confirm I cannot tell which way is east and west and north and south. I can usually find east and west if the sun is out.
3. Inability to say which of two numbers is the larger – again, this one not really a problem for me.
4. Reliance on “counting-on” strategies such as using fingers, rather than any more efficient mental arithmetic strategies – oh yeah, this is me. I even use my fingers for simple problems like five plus three.
5. Difficulty with time-tables, mental arithmetic, etc. – not so much with timetables, but definitely with mental arithmetic.
6. Does better in subjects such as science and geometry, which require logic rather than formulas, until a higher level requiring calculations is needed – oh yes! Geometry was a revelation for me. I loved it! I was great at it. It all made sense. It was like working on word puzzles. Up until the end of the year when things got more complicated that is.
7. Difficulty with conceptualizing time and judging the passing of time – not an issue with me.
8. Difficulty with everyday tasks like checking change and reading analog clocks – I cannot check change. I don’t have too much of a problem with analog clocks, really.
9. Inability to comprehend financial planning or budgeting, sometimes even at a basic level, for example, estimating the cost of items in a shopping basket – this is me. I can’t budget to save my life. Ask my parents. Ask my friend Scott. I never know how much I have in my shopping cart. Ever.
10. Having difficulty mentally estimating the measurement of an object or distance – I think I have this. I cannot pack something like a moving truck or a trunk to save my life. I am terrible at estimating how much distance or room is left. My friend Scott is a whiz at this. I am continuously baffled when it comes to space and sizes and distances.
11. Inability to grasp and remember mathematical concepts, rules, formulae, and sequences – oh yeas, that’s me. I have no clue.
12. Difficulty keeping score during games – no not me.
13. Difficulty in activities requiring sequential processing from the physical (such as dance steps) to the abstract (reading, writing and signaling things in the right order. May even have trouble with a calculator due to difficulties in the process of feeding in variables – not really. I do have problems putting mathematical processes in order, though.
14. The condition may lead in extreme cases to a phobia of mathematics and mathematical devices – this is sort of me. I tend to want to run the other way when it comes to math.
I remember days being told I would be tutored by my parents. I remember my father being so angry with me that I couldn’t do well in math. I remember them buying math workbooks for me. I remember hating it and wondering what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t figure it out.
Who knew it all had a name?
