Embracing the Quarter-Life Crisis
Sound ridiculous? I undoubtedly agree. Yet more often than not, I come across people in my own age bracket who seem to believe they should be on the career path they want to pursue for the next 40 years, they should be with a man whom they can potentially marry and literally every one of their decisions should reflect that of a mature and responsible “adult.”
So what is a twenty-something year old to do? Instinctively, they panic; begin dating anyone who will show them the slightest bit of attention [in fear of ending up alone], or rush to find a job not aligned with their personal interests, but makes use of their bachelor’s degree [in fear of being unemployed]. Essentially, they make a slew of life-altering decisions for the mere reason their ‘age’ warrants such responsibility and/or actions, yet subsequently disregard their personal goals and ambition.
You may wonder why, as a 22 year old, I do not use inclusive terminology as I continuously make critical references to my own generation. The truth is, I believe twenty-something’s are sitting on the brink of one of the most important, yet overlooked transitions of a young adult’s life. Geography has separated friendships, relationships are coming to an end because of circumstance or age, loneliness and social inadequacy become familiar emotions and immature behavior can no longer be attributed to “just another collegiate mistake.” By label, we are ‘adults’ yet a significant lack of experience hinders our better judgment.
Allow me to preface my obvious disdain with a bit of a personal backgrounder. When I graduated college one year ago, I cannot count the number of disappointing looks I received from peers and parents alike when I informed them I was not going to accept a job offer until I received one I found personally fulfilling. What was misinterpreted as a lack of ambition and/or laziness was actually me just acting in the interest of my own happiness. Is this something to scrutinize?
The truth is, I despise this idea of the “post-college autonomy” we are all expected to assume as soon as we graduate. What I despise even more, however is the number of 22 and 23 year olds who do not take advantage of living freely, enjoying the lack of responsibility between years of school and marriage and making decisions based on personal interest rather than what is “expected” of them.
I am no stranger to the classic mantra, “it all comes with age,” yet I often wonder why experience is linked to age and not sheer occurrences. Hearing this timeless, and unwarranted piece of advice always forces me to question the times when I do not know what I want to do with my life, when I make decisions I am unsure of and when my actions make me learn lessons I too will later dispense when I am among the “older and wiser” generation of America. Are these feelings no longer excusable?
I hope at this point some twenty-something readers can resonate with my words (and others can at least empathize). I am certainly not advocating a backlash on responsibility, I just wonder why it seems, for so many people, the success path inadvertently leads to being corporate moguls. Not to discredit any type of profession – my hope is that ambition is linked with personal interests rather than greed. I trust, one day it will be valued rather than undermined for options which garnish more money or equate success by societal standards.
Confusion and indecisiveness do not diminish over time, nor do we become sages upon graduation – our lives are never mapped out for us and the learning curve will always be an upward slope. If experience has taught me anything thus far, I can attest that moments and memories are timeless. Youth is not measured in years or milestones nor is adulthood assumed with a particular age. Ultimately, I hope we can and will embrace quarter-life and ignore the presumed expectations of where we should be in life; and just live.
So seize moments, take time to learn what you’re about, travel, learn from your parents, celebrate diversity, have an open mind, appreciate history, make history, set goals and above all, relentlessly pursue your dreams.
