Facing Down Facebook

In the early days of Facebook, it seemed like a pretty good idea. People were flocking to the social media like ants to a picnic. It was free and it was easy to use. It wasn’t too long before I joined, even though most of the early users were college and high school age. Time went by and many more adults joined, including many grandparents and senior citizens.

Over the last few years, almost every conversation I had with other people would eventually involve some mention of Facebook. “Did you see that rant Jane Doe posted on Facebook? She must have been drinking too much again.” “Can you believe what Joan Doe said about her sister?” Or, “Did you see where Joe Doe changed his relationship status to single? I heard he was cheating on his wife.” “Did you see on Facebook where Julie Doe was bragging about her bratty kids again?” Rarely did anything positive come out of Facebook-related conversations.

I began to reassess my own Facebook interactions after realizing that many people seemed to be so adversely affected by what they read. Even though I rarely posted anything on Facebook, I was exposed to whatever anyone else posted every time I logged in. I started to question my own life position in a way that had not occurred in decades. I started to feel left out when I wasn’t included in former high school friends’ outings or certain extended family events.

Whenever someone posted vague ambiguous accusations directed at some anonymous person, I would wonder if I had somehow been the offending party. I even went so far as to directly ask one friend if their thinly veiled accusations might have been directed towards me. I was reassured that the accusations were not directed at me but at a troublesome neighbor. Still…, how could anyone really know?

I watched as friends and family posted endless photos. There were constant posts of lavish vacations, beautiful babies, and expensive social occasions, along with post after post about how awesome their lives, spouses and kids were. All those things are no doubt wonderful, but what I finally noticed was that I was on Facebook information overload. The positive and negative posts describing every aspect of other people’s lives were being spoon fed to my brain every time I logged in.

A few months ago, I went into my Facebook settings and changed almost every “friend” to “acquaintance.” I kept only about ten close family members and friends on my regular feed, thereby limiting nearly all exposure to what others posted. I made a deal with myself that I would wait to see how often I would take the initiative to check out any of the “friends” I had changed to “acquaintances.” It was almost never. In other words, they were “out of sight – out of mind.” It was amazing to open Facebook and see only what I wanted to see. It reduced my Facebook overload but still allowed me to be part of the social network.