Fashions Circa 1980s Flooding Retail Chains in 2006

In the 1980s I was a fashionista and Madonna had meat on her bones. Actually, Madonna had a lot to do with girl’s fashion. She set the trends that left our mothers wishing they had boys. Watching her videos on MTV had young girls flooding dress shops to purchase petticoats and lace gloves. Little old ladies would gasp as girls wandered around malls wearing lace gloves sans the fingers, and petticoats not under dresses – but as dresses over leggings.

Our parents spent their hard-earned money on blue jeans just to come home from work and discover we not only soaked them in bleach, but we cut holes in them, then washed and rewashed to make the holes fringe. Colored canvas sneakers were a must have in at least two different colors, so that they could be split up and made into a mix-matched pair. Suffice it to say, my mother hated the 80s and everything it stood for fashion-wise.

I work at Wal-Mart, and our merchandise in the clothing section looks like my closet from the 80s opened up and spewed itself onto plastic hangers. It’s about time someone recognized we had fashion sense back then. Much to my mother’s dismay she has to live a repeat performance of what she went through all those years ago – with her grandchildren. I have already decided for her Christmas gift, I will pay for her Valium.

The only issue I have with these fashions coming back in full force is that they are being called “retro.” Suddenly I feel old. Then the reality hits me like a ton of bricks – I wore that stuff 20 years ago. In the retro t-shirts collection there are shirts with bands like Poison and Cinderella on them. Two words come to mind: Holy crap. A young girl came to my check-out with a Cinderella t-shirt, so I asked her, “Do you know who Cinderella was?” She said, “No, but it’s pretty.” I felt faint. I may be the one needing the Valium before this trend is over.

My children aren’t helping either. They stare at me like I’m an old timer recalling stories from “the good old days.” They almost seem to not be grasping the information as I inform them that their trendy fashion has been done, but we did it by hand. My 11 year old is the worst – she’s the self-esteem Grim Reaper. Her only comment is: “Mom, you’re old.” I pat her on the head and look forward to when she has smart-alec kids of her own.

I won’t even try to explain parachute pants or Swatch watches. I will admit to owning many – of both. The rap group Run DMC did give Adidas a boost by wearing their Adidas shoes sans the laces and the tongue pulled out, and gave me many laughs when they guys at school fell down every ten steps because they tried it. Hypercolor t-shirts (t-shirts that changed color when heated) were a fabulous invention. Unfortunately, if they were put into the dryer after being washed, they didn’t changed color when heated anymore.

After all is said and done, I’m glad I had the ability to be a part of one of the most creative and fashionable decades in fashion history. From Izod polo shirts to Members Only jackets – we had a style all our own that would one day be remembered and reborn 20 years later for my children to enjoy and share with me.