Finding Life’s Purpose in Love
Are you open to love?
Did you just think about your current mate or the list of needs and requirements you have for ‘Mr. or Ms. Right’?
Did you think of love for self?
Did you remember the love of God?
Loving is something that is innate. We are born knowing how to love. But as with so many other things we are blessed to bring into this life, soemtimes we choose to shut down. By “shutting down” I mean, closing up our heart centers, turning off your internal glow. Jealousy, anger, despise, bitterness, hatred, apathy, all are feelings that work counter to an open heart.
Love starts with a decision to let go and open yourself to others. This reqires compassion, understanding and strong faith that you can handle whatever joins you on your path. Love is not present in a state of fear.
For so many years I was afraid to love. In fact, I was afraid to even love myself. I am hardest upon myself. I do not need total strangers to humiliate me. There is not a stone I have left unturned. Science says that for every negative there is an equal and opposite positive. That means for all the times I denied myself love and pleasure then so too exists equal amounts readily available for me now. I must only open my heart and allow others to join into my life, to celebrate, to hold me, to fill me with love, and to share in my passion. In truth, love in its abundance has always surrounded me:
I did not seek it.
I have found the ultimate relationship to be between myself and God. Through him all things are possible. Through his reflections, I have come to see my fears as nothing but hollow moments. I was not embracing life. I would stand steadfast and watch it walk ever so close and not reach out. Fear of the unknown held me trapped in a steal vise so tight on many occasions I thought the floods of my inner terror would spill out for all to see.
At 41, I lived with the regret of a life filled with missed opportunities to love. How would I face my own memories after death as they flashed across my mind, so many moments, so much time – so little life, so little love. The faces of people who loved me would fill my eyes. Not so bad you think? Then you realize as did I, that these were the eyes that looked upon me with love and desire for so long, and went denied. Those loving eyes didnt understand that I feared creating intimacy. They only knew their love was not received nor returned.
Recently, I opened up to God. I prayed him many things in my life that needed a change. He has answered each and provided for my needs. Having those needs met, I was left to face my heart. I felt the familiar stirrings inside of myself. Closed up and shut off, I had not allowed any feelings to rise up and touch my heart. Heaven forbid I might want to act upon them, or speak them!
What was I afraid of?
I was afraid I would run into emotions from the past that hurt me. I had closed up my heart many moons ago tired of the burating words of a father, the critical thougths of my mother, teen age bullies, and failed attempts.
I was afraid of my own choices.
I had chosen not to love myself. That poor judgement lead me to allow people into my life who would match that distain. Those relationships were often filled with enabling, giving so much of myself to try to make another enough. In reality, we were just two hurt souls limping along life trying to make one life measure up. Our co-dependancy and our addictions to struggle harvested weakened esteems and roads covered with sharp glass.
No need to whine about not having a mate. If we desire romance, companionship, love and passion in our lives those needs will be met by the person or persons who can share in them. It is simply a change of our minds that allows us to approach things with an open heart. You and I and every living thing on this planet deserves “love”. Let us reaffirm that truth: “You and I and every living thing on this planet deserves “love”.
Now that I have opened and I find that God is present within me in every moment, loving me without expectation – I am constantly ‘in love’. I am in love with life. I am in love with the possibilites of each moment of the future. God has blessed me with the love of a beautiful man. His mere presense sooths and excites me. He knows God. God “loves” through him. God now “loves” through me.
I have stepped out of the way. My purpose here is much like yours, “to experience love” in all its forms: to give and receive love. All can realize heaven on earth once fully open to the experience of God living and loving through you. I have no vocabulary that would accurately touch on the feeling of God’s love. He is in ever cell, in every smile, in every object around me, in all life, through the past and into all time, he will be with me. I will never be alone unless I fail to notice his presence in every moment.
Step 1: Open Your Heart
Realize your purpose: to love.
Never stop.
