Friends Are Really Your Enemies with Secret Identites
A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be. ~Douglas Pagels
What happened to our friendship? Sometimes I’m left in amazement as how people that you’ve known for years since you we’re children, and shared everything with can hurt you so suddenly and for no apparent legitimate reason. I was 10 years old moved into a middle class neighborhood and became friends with two people, Beth and Jennifer. Beth was a little older by 3 years immediately we became friends. She lived down the street where her family owned a home and I loved her family instantly, with my upbringing I always respected her mother and father and they treated me as one of their own.
A year after, I met Jennifer she moved into my building we lived up the street in a apartment duplex and Jennifer was 9 years old with no friends we accepted her right of way. She was funny, shy, and always talked of being a model and yes all three of us competed as girlfriends do. We attended the same schools and our families were as tight as we were. During our teen years we discovered boys of course and we were wild and rambunctious, the parties were endless and we always did everything together. Beth and Jennifer graduated high school as expected but I didn’t I dropped out due to poor choices I made hanging with the wrong crowd etc As adults we even got pregnant at the same time had our children and they became best friends. we raised our children together and were there for each other through the good and bad times.
Our career choices were different from each other Beth choose to pursue a career in childcare, Jennifer became a successful hairstylist and me I choose the fast life. We were inseparable for life. Until one day Jennifer implies she is moving out- away from the neighborhood I was livid, downright angry inside but as girlfriends we always supported each other regardless. After Jennifer moved away we still remained in contact but our friendship grew slightly apart. Beth and I only had each other’s shoulder to cry on and our friendship continued well into our thirties and forties. Our children were grown out on there own and it was time for me to make a huge decision, I was ready to settle down, find a husband, be with one man, I wanted to get married and this was my goal I grew sick of the partying, bars, one night stands as far as the fast life I had been there and done it all. I was bored and wanted something more meaningful.
My children had moved out, my family had simply grown apart and I needed stability in my life. Meanwhile Beth became a homebody and wanted nothing more than to continue living at home with her parents she became comfortable with her situation and that angered me because over the years she was the most quiet one and I could never figure out why, She had an air of mystery about her and it puzzled me at times until this day I’m still puzzled. We hardly ever heard from Jennifer anymore an occasional phone call to let us know she was doing fine, we never saw her again. I accomplished my goal and met an absolutely wonderful man who swept me away, at the time I was still raising my last son I had three altogether and he was the baby. My son was 4 years old when I met my husband and right away he adopted him, said this is my son and I will raise him as my own he loved my son instantly.
I thought- my friends and family are going to love him. Out of the blue my family hated him for no reason, next my friends hated him immediately. Now you may ask why? I don’t know I can’t answer that question because I honestly don’t know, In the process they shunned me my family disowned me and my friends Beth and Jennifer turned their backs on me. Devastated I had nobody for the first time in my life I felt and was alone in the world. What happened to my family and friends I felt as though I was having a bad dream and could not wake up. They called me names, broke out our car windows on my wedding day, my son’s doing, threatened our lives if we didn’t get out of the neighborhood. My wedding day the most happiest day of a woman’s life was shattered I felt happy because I was marrying the man I loved on the other hand I felt afraid sad, I thought something terrible was going to happen to my husband.
We did not have the wedding as planned instead we made it short and quick. We had to flee for our lives with our son in tow. Devastation, betrayal, deceit, took over my soul for 8 years I was nothing. I cried on my husbands shoulder day after day. There was a knife in my heart permanently and it hurt so bad I could not pull it out. Until one day I collapsed had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized. After that I said no more I regained my strength my power to live and be happy. I took their power away and closed the book. My point here is how could this happen I’m sure it happens everyday all over the world every minute someone is being deceived. Losing a friend can be a serious emotional blow to one’s well being, especially if they were being phony from the beginning we call this ‘putting on the clown face’, In front of you their your best friend and telling you things you want to hear but behind closed doors they hate your guts and will look for any opportunity to stab you in the back.
Since those times I recently called up my friends and was explicitly told do not ever contact them again, and that is all I needed to hear, that was my closure. Just to close that chapter of my life and move on. There was no need to get upset, angry or become disgruntled my reply was ‘ I’m sorry, I’ll never call you again ” and graciously wished them the best in life and hung up the phone. The meaning of friends? Is there a definition? Today I do not trust too many people and actually have no friends. I have been told I set my standards too high and that is all right by me. Because I made a promise to myself, never let anyone male or female hurt me like that ever again. If you have a best friend then you are truly blessed and too cherish your friendships forever. I believe in the old wives tale ” Everybody needs somebody. ” whether it is family or friends. If I did not have my son and husband who happen to be my best friend as well, I do not know if I would have made it. In closing they were never my friends to begin with.
Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things. ~Author Unknown
Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend. ~Plautus
Definition of a friend is like the brother or sister you never had and I treat others as such�G. Marlena Joslyn
