Fun Ways to Get Revenge
The first revenge tactic I shall present you with will work for just about any situation, provided you have (or are able to acquire) the home address of the fink or meddler who wronged you:
First, go to you local library’s magazine section. Then proceed to tear out of various magazines the cards you mail-in for subscriptions. Try for as many embarrassing magazines as possible: for example, if the person in question is a man, Ladies Home Journal, Better Homes and Gardens etc. would be good choices.
Do not, however, limit yourself to embarrassing magazines, sheer quantity is object here. The more unwanted mail, the better. Should you be approached by a nosey librarian asking what you are doing, and for what purpose… tell her it’s none of her business and carry on.
Once you have the cards, proceed to fill them out with name and address of the chump in question. Mail them. Don’t worry, you will not be responsible for postage. In a few short weeks the hordes of magazines will start jamming their mail-box, and it will be a real pain in the neck for them to call every single magazine’s customer service center and cancel the fraudulent subscriptions.
Side Note: The same principle applies to mailing lists from stores and non profit organizations. Go ahead and sign your nemesis up for weekly mailings on herpes medications!
This next tactic will only work on friends, roommates, or relatives with a green-thumb:
Next time the brute goes out of town offer to water their beloved plants. Then go to the grocery store and stock-up on food coloring. Put large amounts of food coloring into the water you are using to hydrate the plants. Upon their return home your evil-doing friend/roommate/relative will find that their plants have mysteriously changed colors! It will certainly be a shock!
Incase you were wondering: The plants will not be harmed by this! Florists use food coloring to dye carnations all the time (granted carnations are dyed post-mortem…)
For this tactic you will need the phone number of the dolt, and you will have to pay for it:
Go to your local newspaper and take out an add in the personals section. I will leave the contents up to you, but I strongly suggest that the wording of the add indicate that the ‘placer’ of the add would like to meet someone who is the complete opposite (in as many ways as possible) of who the blockhead would really like to meet. After all, you are trying to upset/annoy them, not help them find their soul-mate.
Don’t Forget: Pay for the add in cash!! You don’t want to leave a paper trail.
Lastly, here is a fun way to get revenge on a friend or relative at the beach:
This relatively harmless prank is loosely based on a tiger trap. When your corrupt friend or relative leaves their beach towel to go in the water wait until they are far enough away that they cannot see what you are about to do. Lift up the towel, and dig a hole where the towel was. The hole should have fairly steep sides and be big enough for your victim to fall into, but small enough as not to be seen when you replace the towel, or to cause any serious physical damage. Replace the towel and wait for your victim to return, sit down, and fall in.
Alfred Hitchcock once said ‘Revenge is sweet, and not fattening.’ So go forth into the world, and have your sweet revenge!
