Getting Started with Adoption
Are you wondering if adopting a child might be an option for building your family? Perhaps you’ve always thought about adoption but are feeling like your life is in a place where it is time to turn that abstract thought into reality? Here are some
steps to get you started on your path to parenthood:
First, take some time to gather information. Attend information workshops, adoption fairs, and panel discussions that might be offered in your area. If you are fortunate to be acquainted with some adoptive families, talk to them as well. Most
adoptive parents are comfortable and excited to share their experiences with potential parents. I am a “book person” so I made several trips to my local library and checked out everything I could read on the subject of adoption. Request information to be sent to you by various adoption agencies. You are not limited to only those agencies in your state, many agencies are licensed to place children all over the United States. Reading through the packets will give you an idea of what the current world of adoption is like and the many choices available to you. You can access so much information on adoption and specific agencies via the Internet. This is great way to peruse programs and agencies, and you can email questions as you’re doing your investigations.
As you absorb all the information, you will see that you may not qualify for every program and you will begin to narrow down your choices. Adopting can be divided into two main categories – International and Domestic. Within those categories, there are even more choices. For international adoption, there are many nations that place children within the United States and different agencies have programs in different countries. For domestic programs, there is infant adoption, open infant adoption, older children special needs adoption and sibling adoptions available. Some countries, agencies and programs will work with single parents, lesbian and gay parents (virtually all foreign countries will not place children with lesbian and gay families), older parents, families with or without existing children, etc.
You will also find that the cost of adoption fees will vary by program. For me, this was a definite consideration. Your choice of working with a non profit, for profit or government agency may affect the total cost of your adoption, but it may also affect the length of time it takes to complete. I found that most agencies were very open and up front about the costs & fees involved and made it easier for me to take that in to account as I was moving through the decision process. Often, families say that what made them choose a particular agency over all the others was the voice on the other end of the phone. It will make a big difference for you to find an agency where you feel heard and understood and feel confidence in your adoption counselor. It can be a long, bumpy process, and it will make all the difference in the world if you feel a sense of “teamwork” with your agency. For me, it was important that I find an agency that felt welcoming to my single parenthood and could hear me when I expressed my anxieties and concerns. So make phone calls, send emails, ask questions. You will find that most people involved in adoption are committed and passionate advocates and are happy to answer your questions and address your concerns.
In evaluating your choices you’ll consider: International or Domestic, how much you are able to travel, do you want or need to meet (or even know about) the birth family, how much can you afford to spend, what programs are available to your family situation, how long does the program take, the age and number of children you are interested in adopting – just to get you started!
Once you have selected an agency and a program, your adoption counselor will take over. You will be given lists of documents to compile and a checklist to complete as you move through the process. You will complete a homestudy and meet the various requirements in order to become eligible for referral of a child. The length of this process depends on several factors – the capacity of the agency, how many other families are involved, and your own “speed” in gathering and completing necessary documentation. Some agencies offer classes and support groups for parents involved in adopting and you may find this to be a great resource as you wait
for the arrival of your precious child.
