Getting the Most from Support Groups

Support groups have become a fact of life. As our connection to extended families has been stretched and our mobility has found more and more of us trying to establish ourselves in new cities, communities and neighborhoods, support groups are one of the ways we connect with other people and find encouragement, education and resources to help us cope with everyday life. We have support groups for parents, grandparents, various conditions and diseases, and for recovery and coping. Let’s explore how you can make the most of support groups and truly benefit from your involvement.

To find the right support group, you have several avenues – depending on what you’re looking for, try the yellow pages in your phone book, the Internet, ask at your child’s school or if you are looking for a support group for a certain disease or condition, check with your local hospital or community medical center. If you city is large enough, there may be a central referral agency or organization that serves as a referral source for support groups. Also, don’t be afraid to ask around – ask your friends, colleagues, neighbors – they may be able to steer you in the right direction.

Make contact with the facilitator or leader before you attend your first meeting. By asking questions about the culture of the group, meeting times and space, what the attendance and turnover rate is – you’ll be better prepared and it will help you in making the decision about whether you’ve found the right group or not.

Try to keep an open mind when you attend your first group meeting. The discomfort and nervousness you feel could keep you from being open to the group experience. Try to stay open and “ease into” the experience. Introduce yourself, but don’t feel pressured into sharing more than you’re ready to. Let yourself absorb the feeling of the group and start to evaluate how the experience feels, while being open to what is going on.

Unless it is a terrible experience and an obviously wrong fit for you, try attending the support group a second and third time before making the decision as to whether it will work for you or not. Similar to the advice about going on a second date before making a snap decision – you’re discomfort the first time or your glowingly positive experience may be a fluke and it will take a couple more meetings to get a real feel for the group.

It helps if you do some self-reflection about what you need and hope to get from attending a support group and continue to reevaluate your expectations as you continue in the group. Having a solid idea of what your needs are will help you to understand whether the support group is helping you to achieve what you hope to. Also, it will help you to stay in touch with your own personal challenges and goals instead of taking on another group member’s or the facilitator’s idea of what you should be working on.

Remember the saying, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket?” Well, when you find a support group that clicks for you, you may be tempted to depend on “the group” for all your social and emotional needs. While support groups can be a wonderful place to meet friends, and build a support system for your life, it is still important to try to keep your life balanced with other experiences, family, friends, etc. A good support group can be one element in a healthy, balanced life – but it is best not to expect the support group to be everything.

The support group is a positive example of the human’s adaptation to modern life, but, like most things in life – you only get out of it what you put in. Remember to stay open and try to stay true to your own unique self and your own unique situation. Becoming involved in a support group can truly be a life-enhancing experience.