GoldenPalace.com Using EBay as a Marketing Tool
Have you heard about this one?
The internet casino GoldenPalace.com, well known for their quasi celebrity endorsers and bogus publicity stunts, has started to buy the oddest things they can find on EBay to bring attention to the website. Now, I have no idea how much money GoldenPalace.com brings in; for all I know all this stupid advertising shit pays off. They might be the highest grossing online casino and poker site in all of the land. This is entirely possible; I have no idea.
However, I don’t get the EBay shit. How is buying a former Star Trek member’s kidney stone going to get more people to deposit money into your internet casino. It is my opinion that people who gamble online don’t really give a shit about crap like this; they’re not even paying attention.
Oh well, I don’t want to do it, but I think I have to. The power of Christ compels me. Here is a rundown of some of the greatest (read: worst) GoldenPalace.com EBay purchases in the history of GoldenPalace.com EBay purchases. Are you ready for this; I don’t think you areâÂ?¦
JERRY GARCIA’S TOILET BOWEL
This one is just fucked up; and you want to know what’s more fucked up? Apparently, somebody actually stole the toilet bowl from the GoldenPalace.com vault (I’m guessing it was a high powered, steel vault; I mean, where else would store Jerry Garcia’s toilet bowel?). I’m not sure what’s worse; the fact that I pictured fat Jerry Garcia taking a dump when I heard this or that some weirdo out there was actually willing to steal this away from the mighty power that is GoldenPalace.com. It is an age old question; don’t think too hard about it.
THE VIRGIN MARY GRILLED CHEESE
I am a fan of grilled cheese sandwiches that seem to resemble famous people or effigies of religious figures. This is, perhaps, because I am just a hardcore fan of grilled cheese sandwiches to begin with. The key is the butter; you have to make sure you spread the butter on both sides of the sandwich (as evenly as possible). Don’t just throw a hunk of butter into the frying pan; you have to layer that shit on the bread. But anyway, where was I? Oh yea, the Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese. This is, without a doubt, the most famous grilled sandwich ever to be grilled. This one was actually worth every penny. Good job, GoldenPalace.com
WILLIAM SHATNER KINDEY STONE
I actually just gagged when I wrote that. Let’s see if it happens again: William Shatner kidney stoneâÂ?¦yeah, I vomited that time. Let me go clean up. [7 minutes later] Okay, I’m back. Wow, how disgusting is this one? I mean, a kidney stone from anyone isn’t punch and cookies, but William Shatner’s. Have you no couth, GoldenPalace.com? I guess they don’t.
Just stick with the Dennis Rodman stunts, okay GoldenPalace.com? I don’t think my computer can withstand another GoldenPalce.com induced vomit session.
