Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
According to Sheri & Bob Stritof in an article entitled “A Growing Trend,” the number of grandparents who are raising their children is not a new phenomenon. However, the statistics are showing that it is a situation that is becoming more and more common.
There are many reasons in this day and age that grandparents are stepping up and taking on the big responsibility of helping raise grandchildren, divorce, neglect, teen-age pregnancy, the death of the parents, incarceration, unemployment, abuse, alcohol or drug usage, or abandonment. In Taylor’s case her 23 year-old daughter gave birth to her 18 month-old grandson but according to Taylor was not really ready for the responsibility of what came next.
“My daughter wanted to have a baby but was not prepared for the responsibility after having her son,” explained Taylor.
According to Taylor her daughter would like to have another baby, but only likes babies in the newborn sense. Once the child grows out of the cute newborn stage her daughter finds the responsibility not as much fun.
Taylor is staying with her daughter and grandson and works full time to help not only support herself but also her daughter and grandson.
“If I did not stay with her she would not make it financially.” said Taylor.
At the time of her grandson’s birth her daughter was having health issues and was not able to make medical decisions for the child so temporary custody was given to Taylor. Since then custody has been given in full to her daughter but if given another chance Taylor says she would take custody of the little tyke.
“Grandparents and parents clash when it comes to raising the grandchildren. The young parents think they know everything, but may not in all cases, after all the grandparents have already raised their own children and know a thing or two of raising kids,” said Taylor.
Taylor’s advice to other grandparents raising their grandchildren would be do not let the grandchildren’s parents live in the same home.
Another case where a grandmother is helping take care of her grandchild is Marcia Brenke who is also grandmother to two grandkids, Abbi 2 years-old and Troy 10 months-old.
“Yes I am mother when Angie, my daughter isn’t here, father too!” explained Brenke. “The idea is to keep Abbi busy so she doesn’t do the wrong thing. If she does the wrong thing it is very important to tell her what she is doing wrong and why you don’t want her do it.”
Brenke lives with her 22 year-old daughter Angie and her family and helps to care for Abbi while Angie is at work.
“I don’t like to feel like I am raising Abbi, I feel like I am spending time with her because I am here and so her parents can work, said Brenke. “Abbi and I do a lot of talking instead of playing with the lampshade and turning on and off the light. I try and to guide her to her toy box and her toys to play with. I try to explain to her why she shouldn’t do what she is doing and if you make it understood she will walk away from the light and go to her toys with out any problem.”
According to Brenke she tries to let Abbi see how a mature person talks to her and tires and teach her the things her mother does not have time to. She also explained that Angie thinks she can buy Abbi things she can play with instead of playing with her herself while Brenke takes the time to read and play games with Abbi that her mother does not.
“I will always be grandma and be loved the same all through her life. I will be loved more than any other grandma because I spent the most time with her growing up,” said Brenke.
Brenke’s advice to anyone raising children is to just think you are going to raise a child, be ready and take on the role of mother or father. She also stated to be mature and know what you want for the child you are raising and give the child lots of love, talk to them, read to them, show them that they are important too. If they have confidence in themselves they will grow to be a confident young person
“I don’t believe that it is just the new generation that can’t seem to take on the responsibility of their children, some mothers take on the responsibility well and then there are others that can’t seem to want to,” said Brenke.
For any further information on grandparents raising their grandkids or support on those that already do here are a few websites:
http://grandparentsraisinggrandkids.tamu.edu/
http://www.aarp.org/families/grandparents/
