Great Moments in Stupidity V
The 7th and 8th centuries were not exactly the best of times to be a Christian resident of any country that happened to border on the Mediterranean Sea. To your north and east lay an assortment of Huns, Germans, Goths, and various other barbaric tribes that really didn’t care what you believed in or who you worshiped as long as you paid your share of the yearly tribute to whatever warlord happened to be in control of your homeland at the time. Beyond the Pillars of Hercules (modern Gibraltar) lay the Atlantic Ocean which, according to the popular knowledge of the era, was filled with sea monsters. But it was to the south that the real threat to your overall health and welfare lay: the Moslems. But first, let’s get a bit of background information.
By the beginning of the 8th century the Moslems had control of just about everything worth controlling, including what was left of the Persian Empire and the former Roman provinces in northern Africa. Since there was nothing left to conquer in Africa (according to the knowledge of geography as it existed at that time), the Moslems crossed the Mediterranean Sea at Gibraltar and set themselves to taking over the collection of minor kingdoms that we now call Spain. They were quite effective in doing this and soon had control of the entire Iberian peninsula, with the exception of the territories that bordered on the Frankish kingdom.
At this point of our story, it is time to introduce our cast of characters.
Entering stage left for Christians we have Duke Odo of Aquitaine who, for some unknown reason, is also known as Eudes the Great. He might have acquired this title as a result of being responsible for an event that was quite rare in those days, a defeat of the Moslem army at the Battle of Toulouse in 721 CE. His victory, as impressive as it might have been, only temporarily halted the Moslem advances and by 730 Eudes the Great found himself in the not so great position of being caught between the Moslems to the south and his traditional enemy, the Franks, to his north. Eudes, being concerned more with saving his kingdom that with the welfare of his Christian soul, decided that the Moslems were the lesser of the two evils confronting him and formed an alliance with Uthman ibn Naissa, the emir (Moslem strong-man) of Catalonia. News of this decision was not well-received in the court of the Frankish King, Charles Martel.
Uthman ibn Naissa may have been the power in Catalonia but he himself was under the authority of the governor of al-Andalus (the name that the Moslems had given to the area), Abd er Rahman. And, in testimony that stupidity knows no national, religious, or personal bounds Uthman, for some reason, decided to rebel against his boss. News of this action was not well-received in the court of Abd er Rahman, who promptly crushed the rebellion and had Uthman as well as his family put to the sword before turning his attention to Uthman’s ally in the revolt, Eudes, who now found himself in the very bad position of having to make a choice between 1) surrendering to Abd er Rahman and hoping for mercy (a sentiment with which Abd er Rahman was totally unfamiliar) or 2) running to Charles Martel for help (which Charles Martel was not known to have offered to people that he considered traitors to Christianity). Uthman the Now Not So Great chose option 2.
While all this was transpiring Abd er Rahman decided that, since he already had his army in the field, this would be as good a time as any to push northward and raise Hell in the name of The Prophet by slaughtering anyone that wasn’t a Moslem. He was quite successful at this for several years, until he made the mistake of moving in on Charles Martel’s territory.
Upon learning of this encroachment upon his kingdom Charles led his army (consisting entirely of foot soldiers) to a position near the present city of Tours, where he deployed it in a defensive formation on the high ground near the junction of the Clain and VienneRivers. This also placed Abd er Rahman in the position of having to make the first move. Since Abd er Rahman was a competent military commander, he knew that Charles had the advantage of holding the high ground, which would reduce the effectiveness of the Moslem cavalry, and elected to wait until the main body of his army arrived before attacking Martel and then driving onward into the city of Tours itself. The subsequent battle lasted less than a day.
The Moslem cavalry repeatedly attacked the Franks, who had been formed into a tight square and, although they managed to penetrate the defensive line several times, were thrown back time after time. During the height of the battle, word reached the Moslems that the Franks had sent their reserves to attack the Moslem supply trains. Whether this was actually the case remains unknown, but it had the immediate effect of causing part of the Moslem army to hurry to the rear to deal with the surprise. It also had the effect of causing the rest of the Moslem army to think that a full retreat was under way, which they wasted no time in joining. In the middle of all this confusion Abd er Rahman found himself cut off from his army and surrounded by Charles’ army. Abd er Rahman was himself killed and what remained of his army began a rapid, full scale withdrawal into friendlier territory. Over the next few days the Franks amused themselves by attacking the remnants of the Moslem army as it fled south. The Moslems would never again venture beyond what is now .
The response of Eudes to the outcome of the battle is unknown, but he was able to keep his head attached to the rest of his body although Charles Martel wound up owning Eudes’ kingdom in return from protecting Eudes from a very irate Moslem warlord. Charity does not seem to have been one of Charles’ better points.
Analysis
The Battle of Tours is almost always cited as one of those rare events that literally changed the course of history in that it preserved Christianity as the faith that would, to one degree or another, unify Europe. Whether this had a positive or negative effect on the subsequent course of civilization is still a matter of heated debate among those given to arguments concerning the subject. It is an inescapable fact, however, that then immediate events leading to the battle itself were nothing more than a series of stupid moves that, by themselves, would not have merited a footnote in some obscure scholarly work concerning the period.
1) Eudes wants to keep his place at the top of the food chain and cuts a deal with Uthman.
2) Uthman thinks that he can outsmart Abd er Rahman and, with the support of Eudes, starts a rebellion.
3) Abd er Rahman puts down the revolt, puts Uthman’s family to the sword, and starts planning to do the same with Eudes.
4) To save his own head Eudes is forced to run to Charles Martel, a man he had recently offended by cutting the original deal with Uthman.
5) Abd er Rahman decides to cut himself in on Charles’ kingdom by cutting out both Charles Martel and Eudes.
6) Rahman’s army, even though it has an overwhelming edge of superiority in manpower, is defeated when a rumor instigates a full retreat from the field of battle.
7) Eudes keeps his head, loses his kingdom, and Charles Martel gets the credit for saving Europe from Moslem domination.
