Harry Potter Must Die: J.K. Rowling’s Big Decision

Stephen King and John Irving recently made a public appearance with Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling and they had this to say: “Don’t kill Harry Potter!”

There have been rumors swarming all over the web that J.K. Rowling will be killing off the star of the upcoming, highly anticipated, final chapter of the Harry Potter saga. I have not read any of the Harry Potter books, though my sister has, she says they’re quite good; perhaps one day I’ll get around to it. I do read other books; I read all the time. I have nothing against Harry Potter and I have really enjoyed all four movies that I’ve seen. I guess you could say that I’m just a real hardcore magic fan.

On an unrelated note, my favorite magician of all time is this guy named Jeff McBride. He is so strange. I found a T-shirt at a rummage sale that said, “McBRIDE MAGIC!” and it had this weirdo with long hair surrounded by all these crazy, waked out masks: a RoboCop mask, a Halloween mask, a Japanese mask and a KISS mask. Jeff McBride, on this T-shirt at least, looks almost Native American. He’s not in real life though. He’s pretty much my most favorite magician in the world.

So, as you can see, I am a huge magic fan; therefore: totally qualified to making sweeping judgments about Book 7 in the Harry Potter series, right? Good. I think that J.K. Rowling should kill that little bastard, and I’ll tell you why. My sister and I were talking the other say and she told me that Rowling killed off Dumbledore in the sixth volume.

I was shocked. Dumbledore was probably my most favorite character from the movies and I was distraught, to say the least. Actually, I don’t think I stopped crying for five days. I loved that guy, shit! By the way, there’s this website: dumbledoreisnotdead.com, it’s worth checking out if you’re a huge Dumbledore fan.

But anyway, I am pretty pissed off at J.K. Rowling. It’s like who does J.K. Rowling think she is? It’s not she was a single mother living off food stamps before the first Harry Potter book took off.

What’s that? She was a single mother living off food stamps? Oh wow. Yeah, I didn’t know that. Hmmm, that does give the whole thing a new prospective, thanks.

Regardless, I kind of feel like J.K. Rowling should do what she wants, but if she were smart she would do what I wanted. And I want Harry Potter dead. What do you think America? Harry Potter: dead or alive? What would be the best way to end one of the most famous, and treasured stories in the history of books about child magician schools?
Let your voice be heard.