Helping Children Cope with Tragedy and Disaster
Regrettably, tragedies cannot be avoided. Some of us are fortunate and never had to live through a life altering event. Yet, for the millions of people who lose parents and children in death, no words can express this inconceivable feeling. Although tragedies may occur in our personal life, we also experience tragedies on a global scale. Prior to September 11, 2001, world tragedies were primarily associated with wars. Today, terrorism is on the rise. Moreover, natural events are wreaking havoc in many lives. Within the last twelve months, it appears that natural disasters are taking a front seat when it comes to widespread tragedies. The tsunami that occurred in December 2004 left over 100,000 dead, and million more in disbelief. Other disasters such as earthquakes, typhoons, and the recent hurricane on the Gulf Coast have many people glued to the television. Among those witnessing these events are small children. Here are a few tactics that can assist parents with helping their young child cope with global tragedies.
Avoid Negative or Upset Reactions
When unbelievable tragedies occur, it is only natural for parents to express sadness, anger, or fear. Young children are usually unaware of the exact details surrounding a tragedy. However, they are able to detect that something bad has occurred, and they are aware of their parent’s response to the situation. Children are likely to imitate their parent’s feelings. During tragedies, it is important for parents to remain hopeful. Although difficult at times, a positive or hopeful attitude could prevent young children from becoming unnecessarily fearful. Tragedies spark a range of emotions. While watching news footages, adults may begin to shout or cry. Older children are generally able to comprehend the situation, and their parent’s response. On the other hand, strong emotions may cause young children to feel doubtful, which leads to feeling unsafe.
Limit Exposure
During global tragedies such as the recent tsunami and hurricane, many people remain glued to their television sets. Shocking images of the aftermath are unbelievable. In most cases, many were oblivious that such tragedies could occur. The amount of people who lose their homes and lives during such events is enough to make the world stand still. Understandably, parents are captivated by news programs chronicling natural disasters. Sadly, many young children are overexposed to these tragedies. There is nothing wrong with children viewing news programs with their parents. However, parents may consider limiting their child’s exposure to such tragedies. Some news programs air graphic images which could frighten or confuse a child. In addition, some children may begin to fear that a similar situation could occur where they live.
Listen to Child
Parents are generally able to detect when their child becomes fearful. In situations like this, it may be wise to turn off the television or radio. Engage the child in conversation. Parents could ask the following questions: Do you understand what has happened? How do you feel about this? Do you have any questions? Perceiving a child’s reaction to tragedies is a good indicator as to how much information they can handle. During tragedies, most children do not willingly express their fears or concerns. It is the responsibility of parents or a trusted adult to take their feelings into consideration. The terrorist attacks in September 2001 sparked a lot of fear in children. They constantly watched repeated images of the airplanes flying into the towers. In fact, for several weeks following this attack, the sound of airplanes produced a jumpy feeling in many young children. The goal is to make children feel safe. Thus, if children begin to show signs of fear, parents should continue watching their programming at a later time.
Answer Questions, but Do Not Give Too Much Information
After viewing a tragedy on television, it is common for children to have questions about the events. These may include: What’s happening? Why is this happening? Instead of providing children with a scripted or detailed answer, parents should explain the events in a way that will not evoke fear, and in a way that is understandable. For example, during a terrorist attack, rather than telling a child that two evil men wearing bombs entered a grocery store and blew it up, parents could simply explain in a gentle voice that a fire occurred in a store. The last thing any parent wants is a six-year-old who is afraid to enter a local grocery store due to fear that someone will blow it up while they are inside.
Children digest and comprehend information at different levels. For example, a ten-year-old child may not buy into the story that a small fire occurred in a grocery store. In this situation, parents may need to provide more information. Parents may inform the child that in some parts of the world there are bad people, called terrorist, who want to harm others. Afterwards, the child may have additional questions. When answering questions, parents must consider their child’s age. Provide enough information to satisfy their curiosity, but avoid divulging too much information that could cause nervousness and fear.
Recognize Signs of Fear
It is important for parents to recognize when a tragedy or event is causing fear in a child. When parents become engrossed in talk or television programs about natural disasters or tragedies while their child is present, children will internalize this information. They may begin to show subtle signs of fear that are not easily detected. However, the following are tell-tale signs that a child is receiving too much exposure to a tragedy.
Clinging behavior
Unexplained fear
Nightmares
Bedwetting
Constantly on edge or jumpy
Stomach aches
Continual talk about disaster
Develop a Plan of Action
After a major tragedy, one common fear among children is that the disaster will happen to them. Although parents cannot guarantee a tragedy-free life, they can thoroughly prepare children for disasters. Sometimes, simply knowing how to handle a situation is enough to put a child’s mind at ease. For children who live in areas prone to earthquakes, parents could inform the child on ways to protect themselves. This includes hiding under tables or standing in doorways to avoid falling objects. Parents may also direct their children to safe hiding spots in the event of a tornado or hurricane. A plan of action can be developed for a variety of situations including power outages, house fires, burglaries, and so forth. Preparing a child for an emergency situation will lessen worries, and better equip them to handle tragedies and disasters.
