Holiday Schedules for Blended Families Can Create Stress and Chaos

We yearn for a break in the steady hot summer temperatures. September left us with our tongues still hanging out, wishing for goose bumps that are not generated by air conditioning. Silence. We desire quiet. Then we can actually hear the rustle of falling leaves and the smack of a football hitting the hands of neighboring children.

October brought the splash of orange and the deep rusts of fall color. We avert our eyes from the garish holiday displays in the stores. Evergreen and holly berry red are not in our brain’s color scheme. Pumpkins and scarecrows, witches and ghosts – these items satisfied our October mindset.

A cool breeze wafts through the kitchen. But, the windows are not open. The breeze is the fanning result of calendars everywhere riffling through the November and December pages and back again. Phones ring. Emails are sent. The pace of life quickens. Families start the holiday shuffle dance and it is not pretty.

“Is it time to visit your parents or mine? Are the grandparents in Florida this year or are they visiting?” Those are the easy, basic questions of a holiday schedule. A few feelings are hurt, but generally most parties are satisfied with the time allotted.

“What is the year number? Odd year – kids are here for Thanksgiving but gone at Christmas? Even year – kids are here the first week of Christmas break but leave at the stroke of midnight Christmas Eve? Or is it the other way around? Whose family wants to take them to Aspen to ski? Well, it is not their year.” This is the true horror of the holiday season. The divorced family dance consumes multitudes of people in all manner of step variations. It begins at Halloween and does not let up until after New Year’s Day.

Once you feel that calendar breeze, depending on the age of all children involved, try to not over schedule the holiday or impart your bias or displeasure of the timing. What should be a happy time in a child’s life turns into a very stress filled event. Rather than happy memories, grown children reflect on holidays as an annoyance. The tradition created is one of chaos. It may seem early to think about Christmas, but with careful planning now and a calm approach to the season, you can alleviate family stress. Avoid paper cuts from the whipping of those turning calendar pages.