Home Makeover Alert! Fall Decorations for the Outside

Hello at home, all my kooky homemakers! Oh, it’s been too long, hasn’t it? Where does the time go. Sometimes I think there’s a time-monster who eats all the precious time we have to do our home makeovers. Back, you vicious time-monster! You can’t stop us from doing home makeovers and putting up lots of clever decorations! I won’t let you! Oh, I’m just kidding. I love all of God’s creatures (even silly little monsters).

So, you’re sitting at home, maybe in your underwear, and I think I know what you’re thinking… You’re thinking, “How am I going to decorate the house and yard this fall? I don’t want to go cheesy and buy a bunch of Halloween decorations, but I still want it to look fabulous. Oh, Home Makeover Alert! Guy, I need your help!”

Oh Lord, did I just hear a cry for help? Well, I’m here for you my little minions, and I can assure you that everything, and I mean everything is going to be okay. (It’s so funny, but you have no idea what fall decorations can do for your overall psyche. Talk about chicken soup for the whatever, just put follow my advice and your whole life will change). Anyway, my live-in lover Pedro (he used to work for the landscapers but now he works for me-wink!) and I went to this great farmer’s market near my home and you’d be shocked to see what these places are offering nowadays.

Everything and anything you need, as far as Halloween and fall decorations go, you can get at the farmer’s market. And plus, anything they don’t have… Wal-Mart will (as my former lover Seth used to say-oh God, I miss him!). The types of rustic decorations that I’m talking about are straight out of a pilgrim’s book. You’ll feel like John Bunyan himself. All it takes is a couple of dried out cornstalks. Simply tie these lucky guys to the pillars on your porch and away we go. You do have a Victorian don’t you? Hmmm, well you at least have noble pillars on your porch, right? Oh God, you don’t have a porch? Well, I’m sorry, how do you not have a porch, what is this the Dark Ages!?!? No, Pedro, I won’t calm down!

Okay, I’m sorry about that outburst, can we continue with the holiday home makeover advice? Good, I thought we could because there’s one last thing that you DEFINITELY need to get your home ready for the Halloween/fall season. You need, and I stress NEED, a horn of plenty. You can get these beautiful things anywhere or you can just make your own.

Okay, that’s all for now. I’ll see you soon with some more home makeover advice my little pretties. Toodles for now!