Homer Simpson and George W. Bush: A Comparison
George W. Bush is a self-admitted recovering alcoholic. Homer Simpson is an unrepentant drunk. One of his mottos: To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems. Homer did manage to give up drinking for a whole month in one episode, but quickly returned to his old ways. Dubya, on the other hand, has convinced the majority of Americans that he has been on the wagon for many years. A look at the decisions he has made while in office, however, leads one to question his assertion. Homer had made many incredibly bad decisions while under the influence of Duff Beer, but none as horrifically misguided or dangerous as invading Iraq based on the assertion of “knowing where the WMDs are” when, in fact, there were none there at all. Is it too much to question that Bush was back to drinking ways when he ignored the Katrina catastrophe, or said sure, America stands for torture prisons and illegal spying.
Both George W. and Homer Simpson were less than stellar students. Bush was a solid C student. Homer somewhat less than that. Both men, however, managed to make into college. In fact, both men made it into college despite grades that would have kept other men out. How? Through the efforts of rich benefactors. For Homer, it was Montgomery C. Burns’ influence that got him into college. For Bush, it was dad. Being a legacy at Yale as its advantages. Somewhere out there is a man who didn’t get into Yale the year Bush did. He didn’t get in despite having superior grades, and no doubt superior intelligence. Maybe he got into Dartmouth or Princeton. Or even Harvard. But how would his life had been different if he had managed to get into Yale? And if Bush didn’t have an influential last name? He might have gotten into Dartmouth or Princeton. But most likely Bush would be a graduate of some community college. And the world would be a better place.
Homer has often admitted to not giving things a lot of thought. He’s not the world’s most introspective cartoon character. Bush has openly admitted he doesn’t give things a lot of thought. He is proud of making decisions from his gut. Unfortunately, his gut is almost always wrong. Homer too is instinctual. An idea gets into his head and he goes with it, regardless of where it leads him. Sound familiar? During the recent Congressional hearings on Alito, Bush said he wants to appoint a justice who will hold the same opinions twenty years from now as he does now. I have no doubt of that. Bush obviously has stuck to the very same opinions he developed somewhere along fifth grade. He’s obviously not big on critical thinking and he’s infamous for not welcoming diverse opinions or new information. While that’s perfectly fine for him as an individual, it has led to his sticking to his guns on decisions he’s made even when the facts have proven him wrong or mistaken. Homer many times is presented as listening to new information, but not paying attention as his brain plays a recording of Turkey in the Straw. I’m sure if we could hook up a loudspeaker to Bush’s brain, we might also hear music playing while he’s been briefed. It certainly looks that way in the FEMA videos.
Homer Simpson has been, among other things, an entertainment manager, a food critic, a farmer, and an elected official. He has ultimately failed in all these endeavors, in one way of another. Before becoming Governor of Texas, Bush tried several careers, from oil man to baseball owner. Amazingly, Bush actually managed to fail as a Texas oil man, despite the significant advantages of having friends and family in the business. As a baseball owner he is perhaps best remembered for trading Sammy Sosa-one of the all time great home run hitters and box-office draws-forâÂ?¦what was that guy’s name again? Finally, Bush realized he could only succeed at one thing for which no actual talent was required. Politics. Bush could succeed in politics because he had something far better than intelligence or oratorical brilliance or even the ability to inspire. He had instant name recognition.
If we had the power to go back in time and change the fortune of George’s birth so that he was born with exactly the same genetics and the same brain that he has now, but he was born into a family that wasn’t rich and powerful and had political experience, where would little George be now? The White House? Doubtful.
If, on the other hand, Homer Simpson had been born into a rich and powerful family, would he have made it into the White House? Apparently.
