House-Gutting 101

You will need; work boots, jeans, masks, work gloves, duct tape, crowbars, sledgehammers, wheelbarrow, large shovels, chainsaw. Make sure to save plastic bins you find in the house as they come in useful later.

1) Find a way to enter the house. If all doors are closed, pry them open with crowbars. You’re only going to throw them away, so don’t worry about damaging them.

2) Start piling all household items into wheelbarrow, then dump as close to the street as possible. Items must be within 15 feet of street to be picked up. You will have to start at the door, because everything has been picked up by the water, and deposited in strange places, probably blocking your path into the house. So start at the door and indiscriminately throw everything away, working your way in.

This includes; books, couches, blankets, picture albums, boxes of old letters, wall pictures, shoes, clothes, wedding dresses, hats, scarves, beds, bedspreads, dressers, curtains, pianos, antiques, silverware, plates, bowls, pantry food, decorative flowers, mirrors, jewelry, children’s toys, souvenirs, etc. Handle pet corpses as any other item.

Don’t get sentimental. If you find a bedspread or piece of clothing just like what you have at home, don’t take more than 30 seconds to philosophize about it.

For larger items such as dressers, beds, and bookshelves, do not worry about being too weak to carry it outside on your own. Simply take the crowbar and hit it a few times. You may only need to pull on it with your hands. It will easily fall apart into smaller pieces more easily carried by anyone.

Note; cleaning supplies and other chemicals should be left in a pile by themselves outside, for special pick up of chemicals.

Liquor bottles should be destroyed (‘golfing’ with large crowbars is always amusing) so that no one drinks them who may be homeless or an alcoholic, etc. Not to mention sealed containers may be filled with flood water. How that happens, we couldn’t tell you. It just does.

3) Don’t worry about the cockroaches; you’ll be used to them in a few hours.

4) Once these items have been removed and you can move freely about the house, remove all large appliances, including; dishwashers, washing machines, dryers, and refrigerators. DO NOT OPEN THE REFRIGERATOR, as masks block dust, not smell. You also don’t want the black slime on your clothes. Duct tape the refrigerator shut before transporting out to the street. These items also go in a separate large appliances pile away from the rest of the debris.

5) Next, remove all carpeting. Make sure to do this before attacking any walls; debris is easier to shovel off of a concrete floor than carpet. This is where the chainsaw may come in useful, as carpet (coated in a quarter of an inch of caked dirt, or possibly still waterlogged) is very heavy and may need to be cut into pieces; we recommend rolling it up, and then cutting through the roll.

6) Take down the walls. This is where any bins you may have found around the house and saved will come in useful; simply fill them up with drywall pieces and insulation, then carry out and dump on the debris pile. Favored methods of knocking down walls; crowbars, your fist (it’s moldy, sodden, and crumbly; this is the perfect chance to take out that aggression without bruising your hand), bowling balls found around the house, kick it with your feet, sledgehammers. It often is easiest to knock a hole in the wall with your fist or crowbar, then grab the hole with your hand and pull a whole section off.

This is where you are most likely to encounter rats. Wait till all the girls have left, then kill them with a shovel.

Knock out all sinks, cabinets, and shelves in the kitchens and bathrooms. This is generally when you need to start being careful not to step on any nails. That said, tetanus shots are readily available in the Gulf coast region these days.

7) Have half of the group shoveling and carrying out drywall and insulation while the other half knocks it down. Continue to clean out debris as others knock it down until finished.

8) Take down doors, door frames, trim, and windows (yes, you can throw moldy dictionaries through the windows first if you would like) and window frames. Once again, watch out for nails. Shattering mirrors for fun is allowed. Other things to remove may include ceiling fans (helpful hint; hanging from them doesn’t work) and light fixtures.

9) Remove ceiling… knock a hole in it first, we recommend wearing goggles for this. Then climb up and knock down the roof while being careful to only sit or stand on the wooden beams. Push insulation down as well.

10) Take out everything until all that is left is the outer walls and the frame. Shovel up all debris, then sweep well.

11) Remove all nails from studs.

If at any point you are having fun in the above work, and find yourself feeling guilty as you remember this is someone’s

home, we recommend talking with the people who live in the region. They will generally tell you that they are so thankful for what you are doing that they want you to have fun at it. Also, your smiles and laughter will encourage them; they don’t experience these often enough. Do be sensitive though.

If you get the chance to meet the owner, do so. If you get the chance to have a conversation with him/her, definitely do so. Talking with them is more important than just working, as what does it profit a man to gain the whole world but lose his soul? Encourage their souls. Having most of the group working and one or two people talking with the owner usually works best. Just ask how they are doing, or where they were during the hurricane, and you won’t have any trouble getting them to talk.

Lastly, make sure to check the color of your boogers when you next blow your nose. 😉