How Do You Know when You Love Someone?

Most people go into a relationship believing they are “in love”. The sad fact is that most people in our world today do not know what “love” is. Oh, sure we think we do and most of the time we pretend we do, but the reality remains that we are ignorant to the true meaning of the word “love”. This hinders our ability to locate our soul mate and secure a happy and divorce free marriage. This lack of knowledge is leaving the majority of Americans dealing with bouts of depression and feelings of no self worth. With depression they tend to lose themselves under large financial difficulties that are not easily rectified. This creates a less productive and unhappy future for everyone.

The best definition for the word “love” is one I heard only with in the last year. This explanation was given to me and others by a gentle man by the name of Dr. Ray he is a radio D.J. for a national christen radio station. His definition went like this, “Love is a commitment. Not an emotion.” That explanation is such an epiphany for me and I hope for others.

In looking at Dr. Ray’s interpretation of the word “love”, I have realized that we all look at “love” as an emotion. How quick are we to fall victim to our feelings when they are running high in lust for another, and we utter the words “I Love You.” This is not “love”, it is lust and a whole load of other emotions. Granted it feels spectacular and invigorating, this is why it is so easy to get confused. Today’s television programs provide even more confusion, how are we to make a rational assessment of our relationship?

So with all this confusion and mistaken determinations for “love”, how do we know? We know by the answers that resound inside of us. We have all experienced “love” and sometimes we have noticed it and other times we have ignored it. When determining if you are trusting your emotions (fake love) or your commitment (true love) you need to evaluate each relationship separately. Search your memories for people you “love” right now, that you have loved forever. Family is an excellent place to start. We all commit, or should, ourselves to our families. This is “love”!

If you are still lost let me give you examples of “TRUE LOVE”:

1. You have a sibling that you disagree with every time you see them. These disagreements happen when you talk about politics, religion, or the sky color. This does not eliminate your “commitment” to them. Most of us would die for our brothers and sisters. This is quite a commitment and is “love”.

2. You have a baby that has colic and cries all the time. You do need to occasionally give yourself distance from the stress associated with this child. Does this mean you do not “love” this child? Definitely not, each time you come back to care for your child and provide their needs, that is “love” and it is shown through your commitment.

Look at the person that right now you think you “love” and ask yourself, would I die for them? Be honest you are the only one who knows. You need to really think about what this means, to die for someone else. Odds are you will never be placed in that situation, but you should be able to visualize enough to give you a sense on your feelings.

When you argue with this person, what are your thoughts? Do you immediately think: That’s it, I am done? Or do you think: Oh no, what have I done? How can I fix this?

Take your time comparing this relationship to others and you will always come up with the right answers. When the correct answers are utilized in your life you will be on the right path to a committed relationship.