How Much You Should Tip Your Restaurant Server, and Why

I was a restaurant server for eight years. That’s a long time for someone who’s only 27. I served everything – pancakes at IHOP, fajitas at Chili’s, steaks at the Outback. And there were many times when I just wanted to lean over to the person biting into that steak or smearing butter on that short stack and let them know that I was only making $2.13/hour and that I had to tip out busboys, bartenders, hosts, and foodrunners with my own money – the money that they would leave me in addition to the total of their guest check – the money that usually topped out at about 15%. I ask you, is that anyway to treat the person who handles your food?

I would say that 20% or higher is more acceptable. And I don’t say this as a waitress, I say this as someone who has been out of the restaurant business for over a year now, and who goes out to eat on a regular basis. It’s true, no one expects you to tip like Rockefeller when your service is bad. But when someone goes out of his/her way to make sure you have an enjoyable meal, that the atmosphere is to your liking, that your steak is that perfect slight pink in the middle, shouldn’t they deserve a little extra? What most people don’t realize is that their waiter or waitress doesn’t get to keep all of the money they receive in tips. There’s 1% for the busboy, who cleans off your tables and makes even less than you do. There’s 1% for the bartender, who mixes the drinks for your tables and also makes about 2$/hour. There’s 1% for the host or hostess who seats your table and lets you know that Bobby has a birthday at table twenty two. And then, there’s more if you have a foodrunner or a food expediter. And this isn’t 1% of yoru tips. This is 1% of your total sales. So, really, in essence, leaving a small tip or no tip at all is like making your waitress pay for you to sit at her table.

Now, take a second to think of all of the insults you hear thrown around on a daily basis. Would you ever call a stranger stupid to his/her face? Would yell and berate someone you’d never met? On the street, no, probably not. But in a restaurant where they’re all of a sudden the kings and queens of their meals, people are all too happy to get a quick jab in when a server forgets to bring their refill or gets them a side of vegetables instead of a baked potato. Did you know that asking for another side in many restaurants takes a few minutes – and that’s not the server’s fault? Did you know that you don’t have to tell your server when to bring out your meal when you’ve had an appetizer, because it’s their job to know that on their own? Did you know that this is the server’s livelihood, living, job? The servers are not the ones running the restaraunt or cooking your food either, so it makes no difference if you yell at them or blame them for most things.

So, in light of the fact that servers deal with mean, insulting people, the sharing of their money and the long, grueling hours of the restaurant business ( I once worked fourteen hours straight on Mother’s Day – what did you do on your last Mother’s Day?), wouldn’t it make sense to leave more than 7, 10 or even 15%? These people work just as hard as anyone else. The difference is, when most people get to be home to watch primetime television or to lay by the pool on the fourth of July, most servers work until late into the night, and they have to pretty much fight each other to have that elusive holiday off. So, let’s take this into consideration, restaurant goers! And whatever you do, make sure you tip something. Getting stiffed is the absolute worst. There’s is nothing more terrible when you’re waiting tables than having to pay for someone to take your seats up for hours at a time because they left you nothing as they swaggered out the door.

And logic wise, who wants to mess with the people who are in charge of your food?