How and Why to Legally Change Your Child’s Surname

Since roughly one million children are affected by divorces in the United States every year, and another twenty-five percent are born out of wedlock, it’s no surprise that children’s surnames are often changed at least once after they are born. I never had the experience myself, but I did help my girl friend Rachel Gray* change her son’s name. She had good reason to want the change. You see, she was a typical teenage girl who thought she had found her Prince Charming* while in high school. After graduation, Rachel wanted to settle down in that “little white house with the picket fence” with her Prince. So, they married that summer and tried to start a family right away. But it took nearly two years for Rachel to become pregnant. After their son was born, Rachel was told that her health probably wouldn’t allow her to have anymore children. The new mother was heartbroken, but she was happy with her family.

Now let’s cut to the ending of Rachel’s story. Prince Charming didn’t dig the family scene afterall. He refused to hold a job, and, soon he split. That left her to raise and support baby Michael* herself. Which she did.

The young mother was understandably bitter towards her soon-to-be-ex-husband. She decided that she would revert to her maiden name instead of keeping her married surname. So, she talked to her divorce lawyer about adding that order to the divorce case. That’s a typical happening in many divorces, and the judge who granted her divorce from Prince Charming had no problems with the request.

Rachel easily got sole custody of Michael. Prince Charming was ordered to pay child support, and a visiting schedule was set up. Rachel didn’t like the fact that she had a different last name than her son did. But, since his surname was his legal birth name, there was nothing she could do about it.

As it turned out, Michael’s father didn’t pay support and he didn’t visit his son either. By the time her son was ready to attend preschool, Rachel realized that he had abandoned his son for too long. Anyhow, since he was being raised as a “Gray”, and not a “Charming”, why should he carry his father’s name? Rachel is an only child, born to a father who is an only child. That means, there was no one to carry on the Gray name after her father. Add to those powerful reasons that
since Michael was going to start school soon, Rachel wanted his last name to be the same throughout his school years.

So, she called the lawyer to start the proceedings to change her son’s name to her maiden name. Rachel did worry at first about people thinking that her son was illegitimate. But she finally decided to toss her worries aside and “do the right thing.”

Had Rachel been changing her own name, she could have used a “name-change kit.” These kits are inexpensive. They are readily available at your local stationery store. Or, you can find them by performing a search on the Internet. Basically, the kits contain the forms and basic instructions on how to fill them out and file them. But since the change involved a minor child who had another parent who had parental rights, (although he was absent), the child’s best interests had to be taken into consideration.

Now, you know that laws and courts vary from state to state. But if a child’s father is actively supporting him or her, and fulfilling his role as a parent, then a court will generally uphold the father’s right to have his children carry his surname. Since Michael’s father had abandoned him, this helped to prove Rachel’s case. She had a very strong relationship with her son. Her parents and extended family members were quite close to him as well.

Rachel’s lawyer filled out and filed the legal forms at the local courthouse. A court date was then set up. In the mean time, her attorney had to write up a legal announcement. The announcement basically stated that the court was going to hear the case involving changing Michael’s name from “Charming” to “Gray.” The date, time, location, and other pertinent information was listed as well. The lawyer then had to publish the ditty in the local newspaper for three days. Since Rachel didn’t have a known address for her ex-husband, this announcement served as a legal public notice.

Prince Charming never appeared in court to fight his son’s name change. Therefore, the presiding judge easily ordered in Rachel’s favor. Besides, he found that changing Michael’s surname was best for the child.

Even if Prince had shown up, the judge would have weighed the facts in the case to decide the outcome. Some items he or she would have looked at were: how long the child has already carried his/her father’s last name; the strength of the relationship between the mother and child;
the strength of the relationship between the father and child; and if the name change is necessary in order for the child to be identified as part of his/her family.

Even if a judge allows you to change your child’s surname, their birth certificate remains the same. The reason for this is so the child’s father remains identified. A name change doesn’t interfere with child support, visiting schedules, or any other parental duties and responsibilities.

*Name Changed for Confidentiality