How to Argue with Someone You Love

Let’s face it, no matter how much you love someone, disagreements come up. And if you live with that person, disagreements are likely to turn into full blown arguments. Even the happiest of all couples argue on occasion. The key to arguing with someone you love is to know how to do it. Do it with grace and no low blows!

Arguing with someone you love is a skill that requires knowledge of human nature, strategy, honesty and the ability to fight fairly.

Recognize that some arguments are about feelings and others are about events or an action of some sort. First, listen to your loved one’s concerns. Oftentimes, an angry person simply wants acknowledgment and sympathy. You can react by letting them know you’re sorry to see them so upset. When doing this, keep it simple, sincere and don’t accept blame. Try to see their side of the argument; they may have a valid point.

Pick your battles. Not everything is worth the time and energy of arguing over. Arguing over whose turn it is to change the cat litter is not going to get the cat litter changed any faster. But a heated discussion about your teenager’s desire for a tattoo might be in order. This isn’t to say you should cave in and change the cat litter, just don’t let it become a major battle.

Fight fair and treat your loved one with respect. After all, this is someone who you love, even if you are currently mad. Never resort to physical violence including slamming doors, hitting, hair pulling, biting, slapping. Don’t imitate the other’s speech, movements or trivialize their points. Threats of any kind are off limits.

When arguing with someone you love, concede a few points, ask your loved one what it is they want and try to work out a compromise.

Don’t get sucked in or get baited into arguing for no reason. Sometimes people argue just for the sake of arguing. Don’t take the bait. No matter what is flung your way, try to detach from the situation and keep your cool.

When arguing with someone you love, remember, you can’t take back words. In the heat of an argument, resist the urge to say things you will regret later. Don’t drag up old arguments that supposedly were settled long ago. Keep it clean and no low blows. When the arguement’s over, you’ll still love each other.